afraid of anal
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afraid of anal
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 2:12pm |
My boyfriend wants to try anal sex and we attempted to but it hurt me extremely bad. We use plenty of lube and he went slow but I cried out of pain. I want to see what it's like but I am afraid to go through with it again for fear of pain and due to a past experience as well (when I was a child, I was misdiagnosed with having colon cancer and I was subjected to having a rectal microscopy some of my visits). Anyone have any suggestions on how to make this less painful for me?

If it is something you really want to do, you should start off with anal play with fingers, work up to toys before actual penis penetration.
Well, your first question should be do YOU want to try it? And if you don't, then don't feel obligated to try it.
But your fears are justified, aren't they? No one wants to experience pain. But if you've tried and been very careful to take insertion slowly, and you still experienced pain, then you may not be able to relax enough to allow comfortable, much less pleasurable penetration.
And it sounds like you may have some subconscious reactions from your past that are complicating the problem.
I would suggest starting with manual stimulation only and moving slowly again to attempt penetration. IF you aren't fully aroused before this happens, then plenty of oral or manual stimulation needs to take place before he ever gets to that point.
But YOU should be in charge and he should know that when you say stop, he must stop. However, don't feel that you must do this for him if it is painful and traumatizing for you. There's no rule that says that we must do all things for our partner regardless of our own desires or feelings. Sex should always be mutually pleasurable.
Edited 2/21/2006 2:42 pm ET by katmandoo2001
Here are some links that might help you. I would especially recommend the first 2 links, 2 of the most respected books on the subject.
Good luck,
E :)
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1573440280/103-7285378-0283017?v=glance&n=283155
Anal Pleasure & Health
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0940208202/ref=nosim/103-7285378-0283017?n=283155
10 Rules of Anal Sex
http://www.sexuality.org/authors/morin/analrule.html
Jack Morin Transcript
http://www.sexuality.org/morin98.html
Tristan Taormino
http://www.puckerup.com/
Why do you like anal sex and how is it different from vaginal intercourse -what sensations do you get out of it? If you do it?
Why and what does
JudithS
I'll be happy to share my experience when I have
why do you like it and why does he want to do it?
JudithS