Afraid to sleep with new boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Afraid to sleep with new boyfriend
23
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 4:59pm

I just started seeing a new guy a couple of weeks ago, and he's really sweet. I'm trying to take things slow with him because I don't want a relationship right now that is too serious, so I haven't slept with him yet. (There are a lot of reasons - the semester ends in a couple of months and we live in different states, etc.) We go to a very conservative college, and they have a lot of rules, so it's really hard to find any alone time anyway. It's kind of annoying, but I don't mind because it keeps things pretty light and non-sexual for the most part. I think that eventually I would like to sleep with him, though, like if I bring him home with me for a weekend or something.

I've slept with my share of guys before, but the difference is that my new guy is black and all the other guys I have been with were white. I've heard that black guys generally have really huge penises, and I'm afraid that it will really hurt. I don't mean to sound childish or anything, and I know that I shouldn't be so worried about this.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Does anyone have any advice for me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 11:55pm

Hmmmm, you've heard that all black men have huge penises. I'll bet you also heard that all black people have rhythm, and love fried chicken and watermelon. PLEASE. Black people are human beings just like white people. There are some black men who have large penises, some have small ones, and most of them are AVERAGE, just like white men.

But he's hinted that he's large, so it must be so? Maybe he's large in HIS eyes, maybe he is, or maybe he isn't. As Tish said, with the proper foreplay, and enough lubrication, there shouldn't be a problem, unless you're so nervous you tense up. Then there will be a problem.

If you're in doubt, then don't do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 12:40pm
Excellent point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 7:35pm

Realistically, I personally advise you to stop worrying about the equipment and keep on enjoying the person and the relationship.

If you are worried about size issues like this, then do what many couples have considered the safe option and make sure that YOU are on top when you two start off.

While on top, YOU control the penetration, the depth, the angle, and whether or not there is any thrusting. REMEMBER to keep him mindful that you're nervous (IF you are at the time of course) and that you just want to take things slowly and easily. Size issues do work out most of the time, even with a little work if necessary.

Good luck to you...and NO don't believe the race issue regarding size anymore than you would a blond joke. Ridiculous!, right?

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 2:47pm
First the stereotype that all black guys are well endowed is a myth. Scientific surveys have proven it to be untrue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 6:43pm

I'm sorry to burst your (and a few other ppl's) bubble but penis size *generally* isn't related to one's race.

I've seen some white guys w/ huge packages where black guys sit at average. It depends on the man in all honesty. But don't hold prejudice against his penis :P

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 9:29pm
What studies might those be?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 9:31pm
What does "generally" mean?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 11:21pm

>>What does "generally" mean?<<

I've been following the penis size debate for a while now, and have seen a few sites over time that talk about the results of the (invariably) flawed scientific studies that have attempted to sort this debate out once and for all. It seems that all can be said is that on average it seems that your average black man has a slightly larger penis than your average white male (larger by about 1/2 to 3/4"). Your asian gentlemen come in about (as best I recall) 1/2 to 3/4" smaller on average than white males.

In practice this means that many white males will have penises bigger than many black males. A few asian men will have penises bigger than most white or black men. Many black men will have penises that are smaller than a lot of white men. And at the end of the day, most black, white and asian penises are all roughly the same size.

So at the end of the day, you can't tell the size of a penis by it's skin colour or race.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 11:53pm

I too have investigated this and as far as I know there have only been three studies that have been done with some merit and none has attempted to correlate size with race. Although, you should read the papers released by Kisney's assistant.

Some people have researched this and published their findings. See text by Frantz Fanon and J. Philippe Rushton for opposing points of view.

As for skin color being a determinging factor, I cannot say that it is, but I also cannot say that it isn't. It's my belief that anyone who says differently is just guessing.
It is interesting to note that scientists at the university UCLA, I believe, did find protiens in the skin that may be responsible genital size. Does this also effect skin color? Who knows. All the genes and protiens are all very complicated, but one day they will figure out all the complex interactions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 1:32am

well it means nothing

the OP used it so i used it.