After all what are friends for ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
After all what are friends for ??
23
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 5:08pm

Hey, I’m an American male (32) writing from a distant Middle Eastern country. I am Engineer and settled here for long. I got my own civil consultancy firm. For 5 years married to a 27 year old gorgeous girl also from the States. We have no kids.

Even though married, I had been a bisexual with a black American boyfriend of 26 years of age. Since our marriage was based on quick love at first sight, my wife gave me full permission to go ahead with my already existing gay relationship with him but she would not participate. There are absolutely no complaints from her about my seeing him.

Everything is ok except sex. I suffer from two nasty problems: one is the smallness of my sex organ which is unbelievably small. Now you guys say size doesn’t matter. Well the second is more deadly and is called Premature Ejaculation. This is of severe or acute type. I get extremely hot on sex but my erection just cannot last more than a few seconds. We have been to many big doctors here but unfortunately they have (I don’t know how) diagnosed it as one in a million cases and so no cure. Even if the cure may be available, it is surely not available in this country, as such things are not encouraged here. And I cannot leave this country for a long time to come because of the projects in hand. Due to this, my wife and I have never been able to have intercourse in its true sense. I might safely say she is practically a Virgin ! Even though she has not expressed it, I cannot remain silent after seeing her craving for human sex and it makes me all the more guilty as I am not in a position to satisfy her. So after going through a long mental battle, I have finally decided to ask my boyfriend who is endowed with a massive manhood to please give my wife the sexual gratification, but only physical, without getting involved emotionally. After all, what are friends for ?

Now as I trust him to the core and taking all the responsibility, I want to know will a gay guy ever be able to perform sex with a female?. As I am not able to actually participate as in 3-somes, can I be watching them do it ? I do have fantasies about him and her getting together and me doing the “clean-up” or “eating the creampie” after they are done. Is it a normal feeling or lustful? My sincere intention is to see her happy the way any other woman should be, complete. But I would surely love to taste the cocktail (no pun!).

My second question is how do I get in touch with the members here, is there a list of members with their emails etc ? Or is it only by responding to the messages here ? Keep it up, this site is soooo good and gives us all the info which we may never get anywhere else. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 4:18pm

Kat, please do not misunderstand me, I never said or meant that YOU did mock at my situation. If it came out to be that, I am sorry. What I said was I agree with your assumption about my voyeuristic fantasies.

Here, I emphasize again that please do not compare the situation in this country to that in the States. The items which are banned here are banned by all means. Whether trading in them or smuggling them in is against the law and liable to be punished. I don’t want to do it, never. So that is all for kat’s suggestion to order these materials. I am running a consultancy firm here & doing a massive business. I don’t want to jeopardize it at all by getting into trouble. But for American military, different laws apply. Don’t equate military with civilians.

By blocked websites, I mean any website ADDRESS which contains the word sex or related. Eg., sex, anal, masturbation, p****y, c**k d**k, f**k etc. Just now I tried the following (I got these addresses by Googling )

http://www.sexuality.org/ , http://www.sexhealth.org/, http://www.jackinworld.com/ ,
http://www.masturbationpage.com/ , http://www.masturbation-techniques.net/

I am sorry all gave blocked message ! Meaning you cannot open them. I am lucky that this excellent site of ivillage does not contain such words in its address.

I am very happy people are getting very curious about the way things work here. You may come out with any FAQ’s and I will be glad to answer, depending on my convenience though.

Answering westridge, everybody is different. I did try it so many times (especially in the early days of our marriage) but no, sorry, I cannot continue with any sex act after ejaculation, it just gets repulsive.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 5:13pm

IF you simply can't stomach attempting to sexually satisfy your wife, then why did you marry her and basically, condemn her to a sexless marriage?

Once again, you COULD satisfy her by oral and manual means, if you chose to. You are simply making the choice not to try. We CAN learn to enjoy things that previously may have been difficult to do.

I seriously doubt that your wife will agree to live this way indefinitely....unless she is willing to take care of herself sexually indefinitely. But who knows? She may actually be happier doing that.

I wish you both much luck though.




Edited 6/22/2005 5:15 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 1:59am


Hi

From what I could gather from your posts, I think you are thinking of a cuckold relationship ? I analyze your situation as follows :-
You have a gay boyfriend.
You have PE and a small penis so I would take that you are the "passive partner" in your gay relationship.
You are not able to satisfy your wife sexually and would like to have your boyfriend do it for you and you clean up afterwards (and cream pie etc).
From above it seems that you want to be a cuckold.

But you think your problem is - how to get in touch with men who will be ready for this 3-way partnership because you are in middle east. From my travels in the middle east I have noted two things - there are a lot of europeans and amercians in these countries and there is a lot of social interaction among this set. Some of the middle east countries are not so strict as you ahve mentioned. In those countries that are as rigid as you say, there are amercan enclaves where things are more easy and where they even party all night. So maybe you should look there.

But I don't think this is your problem. You problems will start when you do finally find some man and then you have to get your wife's consent to be your friend's sex partner. Maybe you should ask some cuckoldesses in these boards on what makes them tick. A name that comes to mind is a lady called Carlita who posts sometimes in these boards. She and her husband andd her boyfriend are in a successful and roaring cuckold ralationship and maybe she can give you pointers.

Anyway goodluck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 2:40pm
You can buy toys-regardless if they are available in the ME or not. You know how? You've got the internet and you can ORDER things off the internet. God gave us credit cards for a reason. Discreet shopping.
The reason your language is so strange is because your sentences are choppy, your grammar is poor, and you've got fragmented sentences every few sentences or so. You've mispelled common words that a non-native English speaker would mispell. I'm not questioning your ethnicity or whether you are true or not. Just providing explanation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 2:45pm
Wouldn't being in a homosexual relationship in such a strict country doom you to some sort of horrible punishment anyhow?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 6:36pm

First off, we (wife and I ) did not have straight sex before the marriage. Hence I was not aware that I would condemn her to a sexless marriage. I did tell her about my small organ. But she said that should not be a big problem (I have mentioned it was love at first sight, hence certainly she was love-blind). Truly, it would not have been a big problem but for my PE. Moreover, later, I did propose to divorce her so that she could find someone good and live sexually happily at least. I knew I was sacrificing a lot by this gesture but I did this out of my sheer concern for her. But she turned it down outright.

Further, contrary to what the poster says, I wish I could continue even after cumming. That’s why, I would like to know if any men out there, how would they feel if they were made to perform sexual activity even after ejaculation. In any case, for me, it is impossible. Once you are out, you cannot continue. And do you think all men or women are OK with oral or finger sex ?

My Indian friend, yes you have surely assessed my situation correctly. You may call it cuckolding or whatever. Thanks for your great idea of getting men to do the job. But, I am not looking for men to have intercourse with my wife, no, not at all. If so, I could have a long Q of men outside my house willing to please her (for, she is indeed gorgeous). I am definitely not for a multiple partner sex, which you are not sure, how safe it is. But, I can safely vouch for my BF. I have heard about the enclaves where a lot could be happening but I don’t belong there. This country is a huge one and not everywhere these enclaves are there. Even if I had known, I would not have participated in it, for the same reason as above. And what even if it is totally a free society elsewhere in the ME ? Do you mean we must migrate to that part ? No, we cannot do that.

Hi jennie, it is indeed interesting to know that we could order for BANNED items via internet by using the ‘God’ given credit card. Do they land in my bedroom through the Monitor screen? I thought all items have to physically pass through the Customs. And remember, this could land me behind bars too. To answer your question about punishment, first of all I am not practicing my lifestyle out in the open. And secondly, this is the main reason why I am discreet myself. I cannot reveal anything more and not interested in prolonging with this debate. I came here to discuss about my PE and fantasies. But I probably have done a big mistake by disclosing the region of my residence which prompted people to comment upon my ethnicity and then my language, to liken me to a Nigerian spammer and so on and so forth. Except the problem itself ! That is why I was appalled by the lack of knowledge our compatriots have about the outside world, especially the countries in the ME. I do agree the laws may not be uniform or are strictly adhered to in all the ME countries. But laws are laws. You could get away hundred times. Similarly you could be caught the first time !

Now coming to my language, well I drafted my letter on MS Word and scanned through the language English (US). However, it did not show any lapse in my grammar nor spelling. A few which could be there, were deliberate. So, I would be grateful if you could tell me which are those words which were spelt like a non-native English speaker. At least I hope to improve on my English, though not my marital life. But then I guess, if your rigidity in grammar and spelling is applied to all the posts, I am afraid 90 per cent of the posters may be identified as non-native English speakers! Here again, I am confronted with a talented Writer. And she is judging it from her position of command on the language which is not my cup of tea. I wish her all the best in her writing ambitions.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 7:06pm

I believe I've already offered up my DH's as example of a man who loves providing selfless sexual pleasure, before and after his own ejaculation and orgasm. Many, many men love pleasing their partner and do not view it as a bother but a pleasure. Does he get any physical pleasure out of it, of course not, but he still does it without my ever having to ask , much less demand, anything. As I do for him.

And yes, I think "finger and oral sex" provide GREAT pleasure for women, in general, it's called foreplay and it's a very important part of an intimate relationship for women. I'm sure your wife would much prefer THAT, with her husband, than full-on intercourse with a total stranger her husband procures for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 7:12pm

I just had to add my two cents...

if toys are not an option because of legal issues there are many items in every home that can be substituted for a dildo. To the best of my knowledge, vegtables are legal and available around the globe. But it sounds as though this, for some reason, may not be of interest to you?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 7:14pm
BINGO!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Fri, 06-24-2005 - 8:23pm

*waving hand in air* Ooo, me! Me! Me! Pick me! I wanna answer!

OK, ManlessPaul, my DH does it too. Even after ejaculation. If I don't get off on sex, then he goes back and finds a way to finish the job. And just as well as that man can work his penis, he sometimes is even better with working his fingers...Or tongue...I'm getting hot just thinking about it. *LOL* Anyway, if you love her and want her to be satisfied, you'll try anything. Besides, you can always smuggle a vibe in as a toothbrush holder. *wink wink*

As for being discreet....Even the most discreet get caught.