Age 50 lady needs advise..PLZ

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Age 50 lady needs advise..PLZ
3
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 4:17pm
I don't know how to be confident with my body. I am 50 years old and lets say my past life has damaged my self esteem and due to having a mastectomy nearly 15 years ago(I only have one boob) I had/have damaged self esteem. BUT mind you i have built me up soooo far...after getting out of a stressful ugly marriage. I enjoy being who i am today. I have met this wonderful man, i know they next time we meet it will be for the whole weekend in a romantic spot. He wants me uninhibited. I am open to most everything, and am willing to try different things, I love sex, i have alot of sexual desire. I just don't know how to deal with the no confidence...i am scared he will run when he sees my body. Even tho i have heard that if a man is attracted to you from the beginning...he is not thinking about anything but what i am giving him. How do i make mad passionate love to him and feel confident. My x really damaged my mind toward this....but i am working on my thoughts so hard. I just need some advise on how to screw his brains out i guess is what i am asking.I go by the phrase (Men like a lady in public and a naughty girl in the bed room) I am so shy in that area. Cannot express myself...I can after a while, of making love to the same man for a while...HELP PLEASE???
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2002
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 4:22pm

My best advice would be to just relax and enjoy whatever happens. I am assuming the gentleman knows about the cancer (be thankful you are a survivor) so there will be no surprises there. If is all he is cracked up to be, he will understanding and supportive.

CH

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 5:19pm
You're not alone in worrying about how someone will feel about your body. I think if you are a woman and you're on this planet, you've felt that way at least once in your life! I know I've gotten hurtful comments about my body (which I had previously thought was fine until told differently), and I've since learned to look at the men who've said these things as jerks and try to not take it so to heart. Still, it has lowered my confidence and made me more hesitant with new people. It has also made me screen potential dates more carefully, trying to find someone who is very kind and nonjudgmental (ie, I try really hard to avoid jerks!). If your relationship with this man is based on more than just the physical, then to give it a chance, you have to try to trust that he will care about you as a person and that he'll love your body because it is part of who you are. You're a survivor and he should have a lot of respect for that. Plus, when he sees how much you enjoy sex, that should be a big turn-on for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 5:24pm

If the man is a caring man, he will not think twice about your body and he will understand.


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