Always sore after intercourse. HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Always sore after intercourse. HELP!!
6
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 10:08am
I hate to post this on here because it kinda embaresses me but I'm tired of feeling this way. My SO and I have sex quite a bit and I always get so sore it's hard for me to keep up with him when he wants it again that day. Don't get me wrong I want it just as bad so usually I ignore the pain and go along with the sex because it feels great. Okay here's the problem. My skin tears, not at the vaginal opening but in the area I guess that is referred to as the "taint." The skin will actually split open in several spots. It doesn't matter if its our first time having sex in awhile and we've tried lubrication and it still tears. I went to the doctor and he did some hormone tests to see if I had a problem with vaginal dryness that was causing this and they all came back normal and he pretty much left me hanging on that. Still no cure for it. If any one can give me any insite on this it would be greatly appreciated. I can't explain to you how uncomfortable they are and it takes a few days of not seeing each other for them to heal just to come back right away. I LOVE sex with him but I don't want it to be a painful experience. He isn't overly large, I'd call it perfect, so it's not his size that is doing this. I don't know I feel silly asking this but I don't know where esle to turn for answers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 12:45pm

I haven't got a clue what a "taint" is......but if you're tearing anywhere, there IS a problem. I don't know how you can "enjoy" sex if you're in pain!

Despite the tests you had, most of the time when there's pain, there's lack of lubrication. You may lubricate, but particularly on the second time around, you're probably not lubicating ENOUGH. The simple solution would be to use additional lubrication. That's an easy fix to try......and it will probably work.

There is also the issue of arousal and foreplay. Just because you want to do it, doesn't mean that you're aroused and ready. It still takes foreplay, even the second time. If you don't get enough of it, you will not be lubricated enough, and your muscles will not be relaxed enough.

Get some lubricant and try it. It can't hurt, and it probably will help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 2:01pm
From what has been described to me the "taint" is the area between your vaginal opening and your anus. And we ALWAYS use lubrication and ALOT of it. I don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 3:06pm

Ok, what you're talking about is the perineum. Never heard it called a taint before. Are you sure that you're allowing a tear to heal before you try again? That area CAN get very sore. That's what they cut (episiotomy) when you're about to give birth....they cut it because it doesn't stretch enough. And when they stitch you back up, it is pretty sore for a week or even more. Because of the dampness and lack of air in the area, it takes a while to heal.

Beyond lack of lubrication I can't think of any reason why you should tear. Maybe you need a second opinion from another doctor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 7:10pm

>>>>Beyond lack of lubrication I can't think of any reason why you should tear. Maybe you need a second opinion from another doctor.<<<<

Neither can I. But I thought maybe it could be a positional thing? The angle from which he's thrusting from could impact on that area more. Maybe try putting a pillow or something under your butt to give you a bit more lift, and get him to change his positions so he gets a better angle. And slow it down until you figure out what works best. Give yourself more time to heal.

Janet

 


 


Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 9:58am

Is it possible that his pubic hair is coarse enough to rub that area raw during intercourse? If that happens enough, then it's possible that the area is becoming inflammed and dry enough to tear open the subsequent times.

I would suggest moisturizing the area daily, then giving it time to heal. There are plenty of other things you can do to sexually satisfy one another until that happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 2:46pm
He might not be overly big, but you might be on the smaller side.. Contrary to what some people here think, one size does not fit all..Foreplay or lack of it may be the problem also...Foreplay engorges the whole area to ready itself for sex.. For some women lots of lubracation isnt enough if the "area" isnt fully aroused and ready. Have him spend several minutes giving you oral until you are actually physically ready for sex...Also be careful of marathon sex (going at it too long) Remember just because you are wet doesnt always mean your vagina is ready...A surefire tell tale sign is when your vagina lips are fuller in size and have changed color.
Ive been with a couple of women who were really small down there, and we really had to take our time before they could comfortably accomodate a penis.