Am I crazy - Venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Am I crazy - Venting
3
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 4:42pm

My BF & I have been together exclusively for a week shy of a year.... and this was our weekend.....

Friday night we had the best time at the promotion party we attended and everything was good until we got home and went to bed. First, let me start off by saying that I am that I want to be more intimate than my BF and I have an IUD. Well he did not go to the store to get condoms (yes he thinks we need double protection) so when he realized we had NONE, he just stopped everything and went to bed. I went to sleep, very upset.

Saturday, I get a wake up call from G-ma and my oldest, that they are not getting along. So have to referee over the phone and calm the two of them down. I basically told my #1 DS, that as much as I would love to be his savior I would not come and pick him up until it was time was his game, that he and his g-ma would have to get along and work this out.
While I am having this conversation, BF gets up takes his kids to run errands. When he gets back it is time for me to go to #1 DS's game. And while I am at the game BF takes his kiddos home and bought condoms on the way home. I return my boys to their g-ma for the rest of the weekend. We met back at BF's for a nap before we went to the Zeigenbock Music Festival. We woke up an hour later and all he wanted to do was get dressed and eat, before we went. Still no intimacy!!!!

So we get the the show - which was extremely muddy!! We get home and BF got mad at me for brining up the fact that he went to sleep the night before. So what does he do, goes to bed and goes to sleep AGAIN!!!!

Sunday - We fought!!! I left very unhappy and hurt that he did not even kiss or hug me goodbye. So I end up calling him on my way to get the boys for 2nd DS game and completely lost it. I laid into him, which almost cost me our entire relationship. It wasn't until this morning that I think he has decided not to break it off with me.

I just get so hurt that he doesn't give me 100% of himself and that he can turn it off without a care in the world. I feel like he is punishing me all the time, because both of his children were accidents from his ex-wife not properly taking her pill (the first one) and the fact her IUD fell out right after she got it (the second child). I do not want to bear anymore children and I have taken precuations to prevent this from happening and just bacause his ex was careless doesn't mean I will be too. I know this is probably a crazy thing to get upset about. I know he just wants to be extra careful we don't have any children. BUT I have my IUD that is still in place and has been for 6 years and had just finished my period. Therefore, it was biologically impossible for me to even be ovulating!!!

I think the part that really upset me was the fact he went to the store and remedied the problem from Friday!! Yes I was the one who brought it back up on Saturday night... But he did not have to go to sleep Satuday night.

I am sure this was way TMI and then some more.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:41am

Sounds to me like not being in the mood for most of the weekend was understandable. Often it was late, there were no condoms, time was short, family commitments etc etc. Life gets in the way sometimes and I think that you are being a little unfair about most of it.

Having said that, the one time that you COULD have definitely had sex and gotten into the mood was Saturday night. And as you say, you blew it because you basically attacked him for the lack of action the night before. I'm sorry to say it but being given grief over something to do with sex is NOT an aphrodisiac. You're probably lucky that he just went to sleep after that and that the argument and breakup didn't happen there and then on Saturday night. There was no way that he was going to be interested in sex with you after the dressing-down he got after getting home from the music festival.

As for laying into him again on Sunday AFTER the first argument.... well....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:03am

When he stopped everything because there were no condoms, did you initiate oral or manual sex for both of you instead of having to have


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:46am

That was my initial reaction as well, Tish...sometimes with my DH that is the issue. More than being in the mood, it's about who initiates it. Which makes me want to ask that in a thread?!?! Anyway, right or wrong, what we have come the the conclusion about is that whoever is in the mood should be the one making the move. If the other isn't, then that is okay, but the one in the mood has no complaints if they have at least tried.

Make any sense, or is my migraine clouding my thoughts?

 

 

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