Am I just too small ???
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Am I just too small ???
| Sat, 08-14-2004 - 8:10pm |
Wow, I finally found a place that I can ask questions about this stuff, without being embarrassed. Okay, My husband and I don't have the best sex, because he is a bit rough, and just rushes everything. I know that I am built small, but is there such thing as too small? He tells me that I'm too tight, then that makes me even more uptight. I have only been with two men in my life. My ex-husband, and my husband. My ex mentioned that I was small once or twice, but it was never a big deal. Is there anything that I can do to stretch out my vagina a little? I feel ridiculous asking these questions, but I just don't know what to do. I have children, but had them via c-section, because I was too small for them to even go through the birth canal. My husband is not huge or anything, he just makes me feel like it's my fault that it's a tight fit. Maybe it is, but I certainly can't change my body structure. If I could get a mans perspective on this, I would really appreciate it.

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I don't think it has anything to do with the size of your vagina.
-Phat
Yes Phat, it is possible the vagina is too small and I did tell her to talk to her ob/gyn about it, but under the circumstances.....he rushes everything and is rough, he makes her feel like it's her fault, etc.
Sorry you're going through such a difficult time.
Now, there IS such a thing as being too small...YES there is. It is an extremely rare condition that often doesn't get reported and dealt with unless its too painful/inconvenient to ignore anymore. Just FYI, but there is ALSO such a thing as being too big as well. In fact, for both cases, there is actually special surgery available after intense examination of whether or not one really needs it. The UK actually advertises a special clinic made up of mostly women who treat both of these conditions.
case, brindee, doesn't sound like this so far. You see, you were actually able to achieve penetration, so you are more in the normal range than you may think. I say this because the medical field does not consider a vagina too small unless the vagina is incapable of even receiving a tampon--according to what I've read.
You may actually suffer a condition more popularly known as "vaginismus"--very worth looking up in detail and certainly worth asking your doctor. Here's a quote I've read regarding this unique condition:
"Involuntary painful contraction of perineal muscles prior to or during vaginal intercourse. The experience of or even the anticipation of pain on vaginal entry causes muscles to contract, occluding the vaginal opening and causing further pain when penetration is attempted."
Now, even IF anyone here were able to advise you on any exercise or technique that would help "stretch" or "loosen" your vagina (other than good ol' fashion foreplay) to accept your hubby more comfortably, NEVER take the advice as is until you consult your doctor/gyno first...I cannot be any more serious about that.
I am dead on with Tish when it comes to my personal opinion of what is going on here. I simply couldn't re-word it any better. So please remember that you very likely DON'T have a according to the medical profession, TALK to you own doctors, read AGAIN what Tish said, and then find a way to peacefully and effectively communicate with your husband as well.
Others are bound to pick on me for saying this all the time, but if you are to the point of not being able to communicate this with your hubby and sex becomes virtually impossible, please consider seeing some type of sex counselor as well. Counseling serves to help you communicate your issues WITHOUT the blame game and provides very effective ideas for you as well.
Very good luck to you!
:)
:)
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
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Unfortunately, rough sex is not getting you relaxed, aroused or lubricated enough. I don't see that you need to worry about the physical or anatomical side of things. You need to change the way that you have sex. If your husband wants rough sex, he's going to have to wait to do it until after he's got you aroused and lubricated and to do it in a way that you enjoy. If that's not going to happen then he's going to have to change his style and become slower and more gentle.
It's your husband that is the problem. Most men learn to control their orgasms to a greater or lesser degree. Sure, being tighter will make the feeling more intense for him but he should be able to train himself to last longer. But even then it doesn't matter so much that he cums fast if he is making sure that you are enjoying the sex too. And he obviously isn't doing that. What happened to the foreplay? Do the two of you 'warm up' with foreplay before penetration? Does he perform oral sex on you? Can you orgasm from oral sex?
I think that he needs to slow down generally, extend the foreplay session, be more attentive to YOUR needs and desires, and try slowing down his orgasm a bit when he does finally penetrate you.
I don't think that witholding sex is a good idea. It's better to sit down and have a good talk with him about it. If he's your husband he should be receptive to ways that he can make sex between the two of you more enjoyable once he recovers from the initial shock that you aren't really enjoying yourself as much as you could be. You could start along the lines of telling him that you are getting sore and need more foreplay so that you get more lubricated.
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