Am I the only one who...?
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Am I the only one who...?
| Tue, 03-29-2005 - 9:39pm |
does not like to masturbate? I feel it does nothing for me. It's almost like how no one can tickle themselves. Well, I mean how no one really gets a reaction when they tickle themselves. Am I alone on this?
FYI: I posted this under "New to Sex" but later figured you all may not read it
thanks

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Edited 3/29/2005 11:40 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
I think that it depends on your reasons.
I never masturbated until I was 32 and never dared to touch myself. Two reasons for that were that I didn't know how to do it and I felt it wasn't right to masturbate. So, last year (I am 33) with the help of an ex boyfriend I decided to experiment for the first time. I read a lot of books and learnt different techniques, I bought a vibrator and erotic literature and then voila...I masturbated and had an orgasm.
Have you been open about sex all your life?
On the other hand, if you don't feel anything when you touch yourself it might be that you are not stimulating enough. It takes time to feel "something", it is not automatic. Most of it depends on your frame of mind, whether or not you are in the mood.
I am not saying that no masturbation is wrong, I am saying that a dislike for masturbation for the wrong reasons is something that you should care about.
Thanks for all your replies. I am 29 and just moved out of my parents' house last year. I guess that's why I never tried it. I was afraid I would get caught even though there was a lock on the bathroom door (my bedroom door never had a lock). But even now that I live by myself in a small studio apartment, I still don't feel like doing it. One reason could also be I've lived with my parents for so long that I became conditioned to living without it.
I did have one "boyfriend" who fingered me first and then I tried it, but it did nothing for me. He really wasn't my boyfriend. It was our 4th date but it didn't work out for other reasons. But to be honest, I don't know how to do it.
To me, masturbation isn't about sex. It's about stress relief, about scratching an 'itch'. It's about feeling good, but just the act of touching my clitoris oesn't mean sex to me, simply because it's my genitals. I was masturbating LONG before I ever had sex. Even babies and toddlers will touch themselves simply because it feels good.
I know DH has probably done it, at some point when our work schedules don't meet and maybe he's home alone during the day, sleeping due to night shift....turn on the tv and there's the adult channel..stress relief. Helps him sleep during the day. I have a real hard time thinking of that as sex though, lol.
Hello r sambora,
I understand how you feel. Even now that I have accepted my sexuality and I am far away from my parents. Once in a while, while masturbating, I still can picture my mother's face and then I feel guilty.
This is how Nancy Friday describes women like us:
"Society says it is not how women are. Since time began, a 'good mother' takes her daughter's hand away from her vagina with far more determination than she applies to her son and his penis. Mother knows about being a woman: Nice Women don't masturbate. "
Of course, you don't feel anything. You have never had the time or the privacy to do it openly and without fear. It is very important that you understand that society has conditioned women to feel dirty and bad for enjoying our bodies. It is not your or my mother's fault. It is just how society is from the beginning of time.
Please read, Nancy Friday's book "Women on Top". It has an excellent introduction explaining this guilt on women. So, you will understand.
It takes time to discover your body, to like it, and then to give it pleasure. I strongly recommend you to read some literature about women's sexuality and masturbation's techniques. Remember that your sexuality does not depend on your partner, it only depends on you.
>>>"Society says it is not how women are. Since time began, a 'good mother' takes her daughter's hand away from her vagina with far more determination than she applies to her son and his penis. Mother knows about being a woman: Nice Women don't masturbate. "<<<
Isn't this only because guy's hold thier penis to urinate,
unless they can't reach it of course,
It has been proved the baby's masturbate in the womb- let's face it, it is great stess relief as OP said and the safest form of sex unless you count abstinense.
cheers Jacobiteone
My mother never chastized me as child for touching myself and SHE was the one who told me that I did it all, after I became an adult.
And I made sure that I never did that to my sons either. If necessary, in a public setting where it was inappropriate, I would just remove their hand from their penis, but never at home.
Touching your genitals as a child is just part of discovering your own body.
Unfortunately, some mother's and fathers make mistakes out of fear or ignorance causing guilt or ambivalence about sex and/or their body as an adult. Thankfully, that's not the case for every child though.
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