am i over reacting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
am i over reacting?
3
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 10:13am
Okay, So my boyfriend and I have a pretty good relationship, it's a fairly new relationship, we've only been dating about 2 1/2 months. But something has gotten me a little irritated...
The first time we ever fooled around, he was all bragging about how he wanted to go down on me and talkin all dirty about goin down on me & saying how he'll make me moan and all this stuff. He told me loves going down on girls... Well then the first time he ever went down on me, it was awesome right. This was probably about 2 months ago, and he hasn't gone down on me sense.. I go down on him fairly often.
Then on Sat we went out and he was all talkin to me being like "oh i'm going to go down on you tonight" (and a lot more dirty things pertaining to oral sex)(he was drunk, but not realllllly wasted where he should be saying he'll do things he doesn't intend to do...) and then when we came home he was pretty wasted so that was the end of that right..haha.. i didn't expect it or want it. He said "baby tomorrow i'll go down on you i promise!" (in his drunken voice,haha)
So then yesterday we were sittin at my house and i was like "baby are you goign to go down on me later!" and he got quiet for a lil bit and he was like "yeah" then another silence and then he was like "because you do it for me quite a bit" and then he said "why baby do you like that" and i said "well i'm not really sure because in the last 4 years that i've been sexually active, I've only had it done probably about 5 times" and he was like "oh well i'll help u out w/ that" and i said "well don't do it just because i do it for you and you feel like you need to reciprocate. do it because you want to" and then he never said anything after that. And that reeeeaaallly ticked me off. So then last night, when we were foolin around and doin everything that eventually led to sex do u think he went down on me like he said he was going to! NO! Sure it was really hot in his room (we're talkin reeeally hot) but it wasn't too hot to have sex...
Am i over reacting. It just really makes me mad because he told me he likes doing it yet he never does? It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. And i know this sounds really immature but it makes me want to stop going down on him..which i know is totally the wrong attitude to have...do you think i'm over reacting? or what should i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 10:25am
No, you're not overreacting.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 11:43am

He knows you enjoy it, he makes promises he doesn't honor and YOU feel you're overreacting? MOST people are upset or hurt by unkept promises, aren't they?

I think you need to talk with him, when he's sober and listening, about how much you enjoy the act, and then if he doesn't make your needs more of a priority, stop offering fellatio. That's not immature, it's making a point he will understand. After all, you will have tried dealing with him as an adult and it got you nowhere.

Reciprocation is necessary for mutual happiness in my bedroom and couples should care about pleasing their partner!




Edited 6/27/2005 11:45 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 4:37pm

No you're not over reacting! It might be different if he didn't talk about it all the time, but never DO it. He's all talk, and no action! He also sounds like he has a drinking problem.......he gets false courage from the alcohol, but not enough to follow thru.

Getting mad is NOT going to fix it. Talking about it when he's SOBER, and telling him what he already knows.....that you're perfectly willing to do it for him, but if he doesn't start reciprocating, you might just lose interest in doing it, too. That may be immature, but that might be what you need to "get his attention". But, if you tell him that, then you have to follow thru......because if you go right ahead and keep doing it, he'll KNOW you don't mean what you say.