Is it selfish for him to ASK under those conditions? Frankly, if my DH frequented strip joints, I wouldn't want to have sex with him when he got home but I'm sure many women feel differently.
If the strip joint is the only reason, then yes, you are being selfish. He is coming home to you, he is not out trying to have sex with anyone else. It is silly to use sex as a punishment anyways. You would rather he masterbate??? That is wrong. What if he would rather you masterbated after you got back from one of your nights out??? It is just wrong.
It is not wrong. He is going out, getting all riled up by another woman. Coming home wanting to use his wife's body to take out his feelings on a another person's actions. (I am against strip clubs in the first place). I personally wouldn't let him touch me. I had nothing to do with why he is horny - so why should I accomodate to his needs when he should have been home with me? Yep - masturbate away!!!!!!!! Thankfully, I do not have to worry about this. My fiance knows that strip clubs are not an option in our relationship. I have a problem with porn - but having another VERY REAL LIFE woman rubbing herself all over my man getting him hot is a totally different story. I would leave him in a heartbeat and he knows it. To me that is cheating. JMO. I know many of you don't agree, but that is not my problem. :)
Umm...no I do not think you are wrong. Unlike you, I do have a problem with strip clubs. I am never put in this situation because I view it as cheating, so he doesn't dare go. The good part is he does admit that he can see my views on it, so he willingly doesn't go. But...if he did go and thought he was going to take out his horniness for another naked woman using my body u can bet he would get the big roll over in bed. No way. I would feel he was using me. Plain and simple. He can go masturbate all he wants. Obviously he wouldn't be thinking about you...he would be thinking about himself and the nasty snatch that was being rubbed in his face earlier. Now that is just not right in my OP. Another poster said that it is not right for him to have to masturbate (i think meaning just because you are there as a vessel for him to use) How is it right for him to even assume that he has the right??? I know many people view it as no big deal, but for many of us it is. Don't feel selfish. In my OP he should be feeling selfish. Unless, you also go to strip clubs and expect sex when you get home. That would be a totally different story. Then it should be equal treatment.
This is going to be a bit off topic but yet it won't be...has any guy ever taken their SO with them? Has a female ever asked to go with their SO? I say that because (and I understand there are those of you who are totally against it so please disregard this post as I am not trying to offend anyone) when JT was invited to go, he immediately asked if I wanted to go to. I was a bit leary at first because I love watching porns, particularly girl on girl, with him but seeing it up close and personal seemed a bit much. I was asked to wear white by the lot of the guys because black lights line the stage and the girls go to the white - it stands out. That and the fact that I was a girl makes the women more secure - or so I was told - since guys tend to touch when they aren't supposed to. Let me tell you...I LOVED IT!! It was one of the most exciting things I have ever done. I got involved with the girls on stage - had their chests rubbed in my face and even won what they called the Hot Seat from a raffle. They put you on center stage and all the girls do there own little thing for you. *I* was the center of their attention and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. Then, when JT and I got home, we had some of the best sex ever. But not because of all the women and seeing their naked bodies. Because we connected on another level and brought that to the bedroom. I never thought once about the women I saw that night and most of them were extremely attractive. I asked JT about it the next morning - if he thought about the things he saw that night and if that fueled his sex drive/desire and not me. He said that couldn't be farther from the truth. Esp. since I was there. He said he thought about the things done to me, but no faces or really even particular bodies.
All in all, I enjoyed that night VERY much and if strip clubs do not bother you, I urge you to go with your guy one night, get involved in the goings on and have as much fun as possible. Then you will know and understand completely about your guy coming home and wanting sex. It is not necessarily the girls that have him all hot and rowed up and wanting sex with you to release.
no, i really don't have any issues with him going. i do however, think its my right to make my body off limits for as long as i feel i need to. whether its a day or a week or two. i don't get aroused by anything other than him unless its porn or erotica. i don't get aroused by actors or people i know. only him.
To me there is no difference between Porn or erotica and a strip club. If you were looking at porn and got all turned on, and then wanted him, from what you are saying he should feel used, Am I right? Go with him to the strip club. That was a great idea. Go with him. Then you will be a part of the fun, and the excitement he feels will be towards you as well. Then there wont be such a big problem. You make it sound like I said you could never say no. That is not the case at all. But, I think it is very wrong to deny him just because he went to somewhere you have no issues with. But, by saying that you get turned on by porn, and would still want to have sex with him is creating a double standard. It is O.K. for you to be turned on by something other than your Husband, and still want him, but it isn't O.K. for him. You see what I am saying here?
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To me, that would depend on why it's being turned down.
All in all, I enjoyed that night VERY much and if strip clubs do not bother you, I urge you to go with your guy one night, get involved in the goings on and have as much fun as possible. Then you will know and understand completely about your guy coming home and wanting sex. It is not necessarily the girls that have him all hot and rowed up and wanting sex with you to release.
You said you don't have a problem with him going, but then you feel used and rather him masturbate.
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