anal sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2005
anal sex
15
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 7:25am
I don't understand why anybody could like anal sex. Is it more of a man thing? There's a guy I know that I was intimate with and he would try to coax me into having anal but I wouldn't. It seems too gross and not very intimate. I like to look into the man's eyes when having sex and not have my back to him. I know that homosexuals do this but why would hetrosexuals want to? I've heard that it can be painful for the woman.
For all of you that have experienced it, what are your thoughts on it? If you haven't done it, would you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 7:37am

I don't understand it and don't want to either. No I've never done it and never intend to. Frankly, if that's what he needs for sexual happiness, fullfillment or some validation of...I don"t know whatever it means to a man who would want that, is not the life partner for me. Welcome him to leave and find his happiness ( an peace for you )!

Stick to your principles and don't give in ( unless you are currious and wanting to try, not because someone else does ). You are not the only one who feels this way.

And, by the way, 16 1/2 years of marriage to the same man, still a "no can do" and it doesn't mean that I don't love him, trust him, or don't feel deep, connected and true intimacy with him either. So don't think that it's some ultimate test that prooves of your love, trust, and faith in him.




Edited 2/27/2007 12:45 pm ET by danidi
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:03am

Anal sex is not just a "man thing", as a woman I love anal sex (I'm not the only woman who likes it)


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:04am

Anal sex is a very personal topic and can be very intimate. As much as I enjoy anal play, as a woman, my husband could do without... so it's not *just a guy thing*. I'm the one who approached him about it. He isn't grossed out and he does enjoy the fact that I get so turned on and can climax almost instantly upon penetration.

Now with that said, we have anal play with toys and fingers. He has never attempted to have anal sex. And I won't push the issue until he says he wants to. I have had anal sex with other partners.

I think if you speak to most women who's had respectable anal play/sex, they will tell you that it felt great. Some might say it hurt... and it does if you don't use enough lube or if you are too tense.

If you are clean and follow some basic guidelines, it doesn't have to be gross. Experimenting in the bath was what did it for me! :)

Katie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:15am

LOL I had to laugh Tish that we replied the same thing at the same time!

Katie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:15am

Hi frustrated. My thoughts on anal sex were very much like yours until recently. I was convinced it was dirty, unpleasant, unnatural, and something I would NEVER do. I'm the typical prude, or I was until the last few months. Not sure what changed in me, but maybe its that I've been married to my husband for 17 years and am just now comfortable in my own skin and with him. We recently tried anal sex and it was nothing like I expected. Go to the taboo boards and there are a couple of posts on the subject. One of the posts is from me, I came here and found these boards for the sole reason of trying to understand why my experience with it was so differrent than what I thought would happen.

My personal opinion is that it is something to be done with the man you truly trust and love. It was amazing for me, absolutely no pain. I am not into pain and if it had hurt for a split second I would have stopped. I've never felt anything so incredible before! Keep in mind this is coming from the miss goodie two shoes poster child of a lifetime! I've only been with one man in my entire life and for me that is the right path. It might not be ok with everyone. I believe that if I did not have all the years invested in this relationship, I would not have tried anal sex. It is very personal, and very intimate. Anyway, if you dont want to do it now, dont. I dont know how old you are, but wait until a time in your life where you are open to it, and ready for a new experience. Dont waste the act with someone who isnt everything you want and need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 9:07am
I feel that anal sex is actually a more intimate act than most sex acts, and would only encourage you to try it with a partner that you trust 100%. If done correctly, there is no pain, and I think the extra intimacy comes from the tenderness of a slow start, the trust and the level of arousal. While you are tense (thus the possible pain) at the beginning, I think if you have anal sex more frequently that you relax more easily. For the couple of times that I have tried it, I will say that I have never experienced such an intense orgasm any other way. If you try at the wrong time, you may have a bad experience and decide to never try again, so I encourage you to only try if you really want to. If you try at the right time, you will no doubt find it to be extremely pleasurable.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 12:41pm

I'm glad I happened upon this "anal sex" thread. Most of the other threads on the subject had me never wanting to try it. I've often heard and read of how painful it is for the woman and only pleasureable for the man. I'm glad to read many of your positivie experiences. Especially, the point on having great orgasims that way.

I'v been with my guy for about a year and the subject comes up once in a while. He would never pressure me into anal, but lately I've really been thinking more and more about it. I have such intense pleasure, enjoyment and love just being with him and sex adds so much more!

I've heard that when you have anal sex that it causes the woman to become constipated for several days. Any truth to that? Also, how far does his penis go in? Excuse the blunt questions, I just don't know much about anal sex and the truths and myth. Is there anything special the female has to do, such as pushing out while he inserts? Lastly, since you can't have vaginal sex after anal, do you ladies usually do anal last? Not sure if giving a bj after anal is ok either. Seems kind of dirty and unhealthy to me.

Thanks for your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2005
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:54pm
I didn't intend to put anal sex down and I'm sorry if anyone took it that way. I think it's got to do more with the guy I've been with always bringing it up. I've never been comfortable enough to do that with him. He was my first sexual partner and that's all there was, was sex. That's all I ever saw him for. It was the wrong way to go about losing my virginity, for sure. I was late losing it and I was very curious as to what it was like. We still each other sometimes and he still brings up the topic of anal, not doing it with me but saying how great it is and so on. I'm still not sure if I'll ever want to try anal with anybody. Everybody has their own preferences. If someone else likes it, I don't see anything wrong with it:-)


Edited 2/27/2007 6:56 pm ET by frustrated_12
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
In reply to: frustrated_12
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:55pm

>> I've heard that when you have anal sex that it causes the woman to become constipated for several days. <<

Well it's the opposite in my case. If you use lube, there shouldn't be any reason to be constipated althought I have to say that having a bm after anal play is *weird*... LOL.. I can't quite describe it, I tried to with dh earlier... just couldn't put sense into words.

>> Also, how far does his penis go in? <<

As far as you allow him! My vibe is 7" and I take half of it comfortably (I could probably do more but i've already climax upon penetration... so I'm mostly looking for sensual play and no hardcore banging...kwim?)

>> Is there anything special the female has to do, such as pushing out while he inserts? <<

They say it makes it easier however I've never had to. If you are relaxed and prepared with tons of foreplay, you might not have to. If you are having trouble with relaxing, there are tons of toys you can use to prepare/stretch/relax... I personally would start with *playing around*... Fingers are good too.

>> Lastly, since you can't have vaginal sex after anal, do you ladies usually do anal last? Not sure if giving a bj after anal is ok either. Seems kind of dirty and unhealthy to me. <<

You can have vaginal sex after, it's just a matter of being smart about it. If you want to do anal first, you can use a condom... and then remove before going vaginally (or use a new condom) Or he can quickly wash in between. BJ after anal is done... depends if you are confortable. Personally, I'm not! When you consider the amount of bacteria... Norwalk Virus among many others, is spread through contaminated stools so imagine what other viruses, bacterias,... Ew! However, again, if you use a condom... or wash in between... possibilities are endless!

HTH
Katie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: frustrated_12
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 7:43am

I've heard that when you have anal sex that it causes the woman to become constipated for several days. Any truth to that?


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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