Anal sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Anal sex
13
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 11:40pm
My partner and i were having sex (missionary man on top)
and we'd talked about anal before so he decided he would give it a try
i dont know if it was the position or something,
but it hurt sooooooo much i had to push him off me and lay there and wait for the pain to go away
he also said "why did it hurt you so much?"
im so confused i feel i might of made him feel bad or embarrased him or something and i dont think he will want to try it again but i still want to
help me?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 2:06am

That isn't something you just decide to do, and then DO it. It takes preparation. It usually does hurt for a moment as it goes in, but if you take your time, and use LOTS of lube....it's tolerable. He's supposed to start with his fingers, one, then two, etc. to relax the anal sphincter.

Also, I hope you know that you never go from anal to vaginal without stopping to wash carefully....or you will transfer anal bacteria to the vagina, and get a nasty infection.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 3:31am
I've been with my husband for 6 yrs, and we've tried almost everything, the first time we tried that, it hurt me REALLY bad too, and men just don't understand how bad it really does hurt. But the solution is: k-y most importantly. And other things to do: have him kinda play with you there for a minute (I know it sounds really weird but you or he has to let your anas know that something is about to go up there). Or you could get an anal vibrator, they're very skinny, you also have to let you anas get use to the size of the object. I read in a book that when you're going to do that for the first time, first you're supposed to use lube, 1 finger for a while, then when you feel ready, 2 fingers for a while, an dagain when you're ready, 3 fingers for a while, and when you feel ready he can put his penis in. You're supposed to do it that way so you stretch the anas. And don't be afriad to use a whole bottle of k-y, the more you use the easier it will be for him and you and the better it will feel for you, until you get used to it and you won't need as much any more. well I know I gave you A LOT probably too much but I hope it helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 3:43am
thanx ur advice really helps! i thought there might be something wrong with me but turns out i was doing it wrong thank u so much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 4:13am
I'm glad I could help, just let me know if you need anything else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 6:41am

Welcome to the board hazelleyez.

It sounds like you weren't prepared for him to enter, and that can be very painful. It's good that you stopped, as damage can be done otherwise.

It's important that you are relaxed when trying anal sex, and he needs to go very slowly so that you have time to adjust to him entering you. If you push out (as if you are going to poop), as he enters you, then you can not clinch your muscles. It makes it a bit easier and less painful. Lube is very important ... once you think you have used enough, use some more.

Some people prepare (some even for months) with anal toys and fingers, but not everyone does. Each of you having already had an orgasm also makes you more relaxed and patient. Position is very helpful too. I find spooning to be the most comfortable, and some women like to do WOT. When you talk to your BF, let him know that going slowly and using lots of lube are the two most important things.



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 9:09am
let me just say, when I was first asked about having anal sex, my response was hell no. My partner never pressured me but then one night we tried it again and we used astro glide personel lubricant, but he was also very understanding and really took his time and not forced it it, after that all I could say was WOW, it is such an experience that I love. If done right and you take your time it won't hurt as much...agai just take your time, you just might enjoy it....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 9:48am
I won't let my husband have anal sex with me. He says he wants to try it but I would find it very uncomfortable. I am sure it's normal to feel pain when you have anal sex. Especially the first time around. I have been told that if you are going to have anal sex the woman should by some sort of numbing solution to numb any pain you might feel if you tear. Something like Ambisol. ...(:
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:20am

"the woman should by some sort of numbing solution to numb any pain you might feel if you tear."

Sorry, don't want to shoot down your idea, but numbing agents are not a good idea. Pain is your bodies way of saying there is something wrong. If there is pain, you need to stop. Using a numbing agent might cause you to do damage to your body, so it is not recommended.

For some people, it takes more than one attempt to successfully have anal sex.



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:29am

Did you use lube my SO and I have anal but we use lots and lots of lube and that doesnt seem to bother her no pain there shouldnt be pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
In reply to: hazelleyez
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 4:19pm
I'm with you, no AS up my anus ever! There is no true love, massive treasure or salvation to be obtained from it. Those who like it can surly have it! I think she needs to shove a dinner sausage, corn dog, vacume cleaner hose, etc up her DH's rump and and ask him "why does hurt you so much ?"

Pages