Anal Sex - Am i a freak?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Anal Sex - Am i a freak?
49
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 10:51am
Hi, im new here by the way, but have been reading these boards for a bit

Anyway i have a problem, well its not really a problem but, i am disgusted with the idea of anal sex and it makes me feel sick that guys arnt even remotley disgusted by it, i mean doesnt it turn them off that excreation is up there? anyway i know im coming across as a bit over the top but the reason i am worried is because on these boards it seems like no other women find it odd and men all seem to want it and im afraid that one day my man will ask for it. He has never really raised it or seemed interested in it but my friend (who has been around lol) is the same as me and she says every guy she has been with has asked her if she will do it so theres no way that my guy hasnt at least thought about it. But i hate the idea of him even wanting it :( i feel so stupid cos i get worked up about soemthing that hasnt even happened. It is possible for a man not to want it isnt there? all his friends have done it and loved it so im worried they might get him thinking about it. Im sorry this is long and stupid really lol but, whats so good about it for a guy?


Thank you much Xxx

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:29am
Don't worry about it. No, not ALL men are intrigued by anal sex. My DH sure isn't and has never brought the subject up even though he's aware that many people do it.

And even if your guy WAS interested, it doesn't mean that you're obligated to do it with him! It's YOUR body and if the thought of the act is disgusting to you, then your DH should respect that and NOT expect you to indulge him. You're partners, NOT servants to one another.

Don't worry about what hasn't happened yet. And IF the subject DOES come up in the future, discuss it without judgement or criticism THEN!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:30am
It is a taboo thing. Many guys like it for a variety of reasons. I can only speak for myself. The sensations created during anal sex are different than vaginal. Of one there are two sphincters in the anus, which creat two seperate and distinct grips on the penis while inside. Second, many times I have heard that anal sex is the most direct route to stimulation of the G-spot, and if done properly, it is true. Also, there is another area within the vagina that can cause orgasms all by itself. One article I read called it the n-spot, don't know the reason why, but it is oposite the g-spot, and when forced into the g-spot, creates some serious orgasms. My SO used to love anal sex, simply because of the orgasms it could produce for her. And I loved it because of the orgasms it could produce. There are many people out there who do not find it appealing at all. Mean and women. Mostly the men who do not think it is to much like homosexuality, and the women because of the reason you stated, or because they are afraid it will hurt, loosen the opening up to much to hold in everything, or the hemmroids. To each his own. If you are disgusted by it, don't do it. If you really are concerned about it, talk to your husband, and see what his opinion is on the subject. If you do eventually want to try it, make sure you are clear by either using an enima, or have a bowel movement well before you attempt it, that way you will not be so grossed out by it. I love it, my SO did before our child, and has recently brought it up again, and almost everyone I know does too, but as I said, to each his own. We all make our own paths in life. You are not a freak for your opinions. If you can get past the Idea of it, give it a shot, if not, don't. It is all normal, and perfectly acceptable to think the way you do. No worries.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 12:18pm
I suggest you tell him how you feel...and find out exactly his thoughts on it. Some men never want it, some men want it but can't have it, some men won't want to be without it. Decide where he fits in. My DH and I have attempted this a few times in 26 years. He's quite girthy and he never makes it past the head, before my body writhes in pain. After our first attempt, when he saw how much pain it caused, he never mentioned it again. ***I*** was the one who brought it up again. As far as he was concerned, it was never going to happen, and I respect that he didn't pressure me or make me feel guilty. I do want to attempt it again, since I've learned more about it, and have communicated as such. Even then, he still leaves it 100% up to me to decide when I'm ready. I'm still just chicken. ;-) Still, I very much admired him for his resolve and acceptance that this was something he may NEVER experience.

If YOU feel this strongly against something, I would suggest that you seek his feelings, including whether or not he'll be able to live without it.

Avatar for leticiaf
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 12:27pm
Just curious free, what position do you start out in? My DH is 6 inches around(not sure if you would consider that girthy or not rofl), and the most comfortable position for me to start out in is spooning and using lots of clitoral stimulation. Perhaps that will help you? I also do the easing in of his penis. After a minute or so in that position, we can then comfortable move to any position.

To the OP, I agree with the others. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, and considering you can cause damage to yourself with anal sex I can't understand why any reasonable man wouldn't understand if you didn't want to participate. Just talk to him about it.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 12:38pm
We've tried it in missionary and doggie. I'll try spooning, thanks. Usually once the head is in, it feels like a knife. His fingers are large too, but they don't hurt, so my conclusion is it's his girth. I know I need to relax more, I know I need lots of lube, I know I need to get drunk...;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 12:56pm
Anal is my favorite -- it is the only way I can ejaculate. I've done it a lot and can tell you that if you have any open mind you will probably enjoy it. Your SO will love it too because of the tightness and feeling around his penis. As for positions, try the reverse-cowgirl when you start -- that way you control how much of his penis enters your anus and the view he gets will make him crazy. Also, you can easily play with his balls while riding him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 1:03pm
No, you're not a freak at all. A lot of women don't like it or even want to try it. I know of only one girlfriend of mine that likes it as much as I do. I've been with men who didn't want to try it at all. I wouldn't worry too much. He hasn't brought it up and if he does, you don't have to do it. It's a very personal choice between two people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 1:21pm
Rocketqueen,

Lot's of women don't like it, and lot's of men don't either. However, lots of both sexes are in the other camp too. Just do what feels natural and makes you and your husband happy and leave it at that. No need to judge yourself for something you don't want to do, nor is there reason to judge him for something that he hasn't asked for.

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:54pm
No not a freatk. But you are almost the most NORMAL one on this board. Today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:49pm
HI,

I was introduced to anal sex in my late teens, didn't like it at first, but I guess I was just trying to please the person I was with. I did find it usefull, to augement some kind of birth control. and at that point, started to learn to enjoy it. It was that, or nothing during part of the month, after I had my child when I was 20 (I'm a single mom)

When I met my boyfriend (three years now) I introduced him to anal sex, after having slept with him several times, and he found he enjoyed it, after he got over worrying if it was hurt me (it wasn't) At this point, it is part of our sex life togther.

I'd have to say, I was introduced to anal sex, by the same person who introduced me to having oral sex performed on me....which produced my first orgasms. Anal sex, coming after oral sex, began prducing an orgasm, which, in it's self , was a wonderment to me.

Didn't take long to want either vaginal or anal intercourse, once I expereinced the oral sex.

Today, I'm not sure I'd be so apt to have anal sex so frequently, if it wasn't producing an orgasm. To much work involved Oh, and yes, use an enema, lots of lub, and get comfortable with anal foreplay. You need the anal foreplay, and need to want to have it all happen....or say NO.

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