Anal....do you like it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Anal....do you like it?
10
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 5:26pm
I'm just curious, I'm new to this community and I am really interested in exploring anal sex with my fiancee. Of course, I am a man so I am more likely to enjoy it, but I would like to get some responses from women out there as to whether you like it or not, and what you like or don't like about it. Also, do you find it easy to orgasm during anal sex? Is it easier to orgasm during anal, or during regular intercourse or oral? Just want to get some thoughts on how much women like it, I think my fiancee might enjoy it but I want to ease her into the idea by getting other women's opinions on it. Thank you! I would appreciate responses from women. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 1:50pm

I'm one woman that really enjoys it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 3:04pm
My husband and I just recently began exploring anal sex ourselves. We haven't yet made it to penis insertion, but I will tell you that I thouroughly enjoy the finger. It seems to stimulate a different pleasure that cant quite be accomplised through other ways. Good luck to you and your fiance, but please remember, take it easy...be VERY gentle at first, then as she lets you know, you can work your way in.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 5:02pm

You know, it really doesn't matter what other women think about the act, whether they enjoy it or not. Your fiancee' will have her own feelings about it and those should be respected.

My Dh and I are on the same page about anal....neither of us are interested in it. I prefer orgasming from cunnilingus and intercourse with manual stimulation of the clitoris.

As long as you don't pressure your fiancee', subtley or otherwise, to try anal, then she may decide to try it on her own.

Bring the subject up but allow her to think about it and decide if it's something she's interested in trying. If she is willing to try it, be prepared that she may not like it and might not want to do it again.

Remember, if she is turned off by the idea, then she won't enjoy it and will likely feel discomfort or even pain. This is one act that BOTH partners really need to be on the same page about for mutual pleasure.

Definitely suggest all the things that interest you, and encourage her to do the same, but respect her feelings about all of them. None of us get everything we may want from our partner, and shouldn't expect to. But people can change over time and you might find that she's more open to certain ideas in the future.




Edited 8/1/2006 5:05 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 7:18am

Thanks for all the replies everyone, I really appreciate the other perspectives.

I have used fingers before and to be honest it's really hard to guage her enjoyment of it! I try to go off of physical cues like breathing and movements, and I have also tried to get her to speak up if she likes it while I'm doing it. She seems too nervous or embaressed to say if she likes it, or she doesn't want to make me feel bad by saying she doesn't. Either way, we've been together over 6 years and we have always had a lack of communication especailly in regards to sex. I feel it's just time to bring it up face to face and work through our thoughts and differences on this as well as other issues.

I wanted the women's opinions because I think it would build my confidence a little bit to find out what women really do like about it, and that it really can be enjoyable for them. I am hoping that she will give it a go with me and we can work together to make it just one more enjoyable activity we share. Thanks everyone! More opinions always welcome too =O)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 11:14am
Hi Ivil! I am "new" to this board, but hang out on a few others. I just have a question to ask...how old is your fiancee? I have noticed, thru these baords and locker room talk with the gals at work (now this is just MY OWN experience from people I am exposed to so don't bank on what I say) that it is OLDER women that enjoy anal. Younger women seem to dismiss it as "gross" or "no way...disgusting". So my advice is hang in there 'til yall been married 15 years, then things will need a spicing up and she may be more open to this form of sex play. Naw...just kidding about the "hang in there part". I have started topics on here about things that I wanted to try with my husband and didn't know quite how to brooch the subject, after I get what I think are enough replies, I email him a link to the discussion (he can read it at his own pace and will usually bring the subject up on his own after reading the posts...if he doesn't bring it up then it's left alone). Its a way for me to bring it up and he sees opinions that play both sides of the fence from different people. I enjoy anal very much. I am able to have HUGE orgasms from it (especially if hubby adds a reach around in there for a lil clit play). The first time we tried anal, we were inexperienced 18 yr olds (I am now 33, he is 34). We didn't know what we were doing and it hurt quite a bit...so I didn't want to try it again. When I got a bit older and listened to older women talk about sex with theur husbands, I decided to give it another try and it ws so much better. The key is let her take you in. Don't enter her at your pace...If she can "push out" against your penis (like she is going to have a bowel movement...don't worry she WON'T) it is much easier for her as it stretches the rectum making penetration easier. LUBE LUBE LUBE enough cannot be said for astroglide or whatever yall prefer to use. And another thing..."discussing" things that take place in the bedroom yield happier results if you discuss them outside the bedroom fully clothed. Nothing makes a person feel more inadequate than a "what's wrong" discussion while in the throes of passion. Oh baby that feels wonderful stuff is great while you are bumping bellies though. OK if you don't like what I have said here, you can always try the more direct approach of telling her (while you are having vaginal sex) "God I want to feel your bum around my penis"...you can use dirtier words if you prefer LOL. Good luck!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 11:42am

Thanks gal for the reply,

My fiancee and I are both 23 years old, been together for about 6.5. I agree that it would probably be easier to propose ideas like anal or any other as we get older and she hopefully has more curiosities. The problem is, after 6.5 years, most things we do are the same as always, which is ok but you'd think after that long we'd want to try new things ;^) As a matter of fact, we used to do more things back when we were around 19 or 20, but things have gotten more.... how do you say... unadventurous since we moved in together 2 or 3 years ago. Anyway, like I said we are 23 and young, hopefully together for the rest of our lives and I look forward to exploring new things in the future. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 11:55am
LOL welcome to life! Things are always different when you are not living together vs. living together. You now see each other naked EVERY SINGLE DAY! You have more responsibility at 23 than you did at 19. You have bills, work, obligations...just to name a few. Wait til you toss a kid or two into the mix. I'm not saying married adult life is boring...its not. And kids are wonderful addtions. But now vs then...think about it. You put in a full day at whatever it is you do to make the rent and when you come home you are tired. Plus there is the "no need to impress anymore" syndrome. Lots of people fall victim to that. I did. And my marriage sucked then. I got out of that funk, so did my hubby and we are happy again. Do things to switch it up. Get toys. Go for a long ride in the country with a blanket. Make love in your backyard or in the car...even if it is parked in the garage. That's one thing hubby and I like to do...put on some 80's hair rock (that's what we grew up and dated to) and go at it in the car like we did when we were 18 LOL. Silly little things like that help so much. Make, eat, and clean dinner together totally nude. I guarantee...the dishes will wait til the next day. Take off work early one day and set the house up as a sex pad before she comes home. Candles, music, flower petals on the bed or in the bathtub. Whatever it takes. Be creative.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 8:56pm
I love love love it!!!! The orgasms are intense. My advice is lots of lube (when you think you have enough...double it) and make sure she is turned on. When I am really turned on I cum with anal in just a couple of minutes or less. I had tried anal with my ex and it sucked!!! It hurt and did nothing for me. My new love has a much bigger penis but lucky for me has just the right touch. No pain just pleasure. I was embarassed at first about how much I liked it. We talked about it and now we have no problems. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 1:27pm
First of all LUBE LUBE LUBE I cannot say that enough. Let me share my experience with it. First of all she has to be relaxed or it will not work which is hard to do at the time. I would tell you to start off using your finger and just lightly rub around her anus. Don't be to hasty. I would also tell you to get her excited first. It is easier when she is excited and aroused. If you are a well indowed man don't be upset if it doesn't work well the first couple of times. My husband had a problem just with his finger because you naturally want to tighten up. The anus is not like a well lubricated vagina. Just start slow and like I said it may take a time or two before it actually happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 5:47pm

Hi, I'm new here and would like to share my experience with anal play. I haven't yet had anal sex because I'm working up to it, but I love, *really* love, playing with toys. The sensation can be incredible for some women and thankfully I'm one of them. What I think you should keep in mind is that it can take a long time, and working your way up to larger toys gradually, and having a partner who wants you to enjoy yourself and isn't trying to get you to do "it" can make all the difference in whether or not it becomes another fun bedroom activity. What I was grateful for is that I wasn't pressured into anal play. I decided I wanted to try it and I've been having a blast ever since! I think a good way to introduce it would be to have her use toys on you and at some point, if she hasn't expressed an interest in it, you could mention that from what you've read about anal sex and women it can be an enjoyable experience, and produces a different and fantastic kind of orgasm for some women, and maybe she would like to try a small toy and see if she likes it? As long as you seem interested in *her* pleasure, and I'm hoping that you are, I think it could set the stage for anal sex later on.

I don't know if what I said was already mentioned because I haven't yet read all the responses. I hope my post was helpful :-)

Forgot to add that what is really sexy and gets women going is a guy who first and foremost wants a woman to be happy in the bedroom. The more giving you are, the more attentive to her needs, the more likely a woman is to reciprocate. I never wanted to try new things with guys who were more concerned about getting their sexual kicks than with satisfying me. Big turn-off. What turns me on is that my partner wants to please me and never expects anything in return. *Huge* turn-on and makes me want to give as good as I get!




Edited 8/3/2006 9:56 pm ET by batgirl5