Angry sex, what does this mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Angry sex, what does this mean?
5
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 8:08pm
A few nights ago, my fiance and I had sex. I wasn't in the mood as much as he was, when I obviously did not enjoy it but continued for him, afterward he said it was the first time he had ever had angry sex. However, I am relatively new to sex terminology and he would not tell me what he meant by this. I am worried and would like clarification so I know what he is trying to tell me. PLEASE HELP!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 8:22pm
He would be the only one who could tell you what he meant by it.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 11:26pm

First of all, no matter how many times anyone has heard this term, Tish is still right, only he can tell you what he meant and he bothered to say it in the first place. Any ideas on anyone else's part around here would be nothing more than guesses, and guesses aren't what you need...open communication is what you need, just like the rest of us.

That said...MAJOR issue I have with the fact that he wouldn't tell you what was up with that...BIG issue! I can't really tell you how to deal with that, but I CAN tell you that I don't agree with him saying something to you, especially like that after what was suppose to be a loving/intimate moment, and then choosing not to reveal what it meant or why he bothered saying it if he didn't care that you didn't understand. NOT the way relationships work and stay together IMO.

I hope you're able to talk with him with more success...I don't know what else to say beyond that. Good luck to you!

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 12:50am

Well, what else would angry sex mean....he was angry! And then he wouldn't tell you why? What's wrong with him? Does he labor under the false impression that every time he's in the mood, you MUST be in the mood too? Hasn't he ever turned YOU down? And did you get angry?

You two need to learn to talk. If my partner said that to me, then refused to explain, I'd give him something to really be angry about! YOu need to stop letting him upset you, and demand to know what he's talking about. You can't go into a marriage if you can't talk to each other, and everything he says has you worried or scared because he won't explain. It sounds kind of immature to me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2004
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 4:38pm

I agree with Tish but it could also be a very very mild form of rape.

Stupid as it sounds, he wanted it and you didn't, but you did enough to let him go ahead anyway. It could have been something like, 'Oh you don't want it? Well, I'm gonna teach you a lesson'.

Watch out.

I can solve all of life's problems by asking myself a simple question:  What would Stone Cold Steve Austin do in this particular situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 2:03am


Yes I agree with a post here that it sounds a little like rape. I cannot have 'angry sex' myself, not that I wish to. Why, I think I can't even get it up when I am angry. Early in our marriage we had a fight just before bed and after lights-off, DW tired to initiate sex, but I could not even get a hard on, leave alone sex. She then switched on the light, said sorry baby and then I said no its my fault and all the taking the blame on oneself led to cooing and cuddling and lo and behold I am ready again. Since then we decided that come what may, when we fight we fight to the finish, yell all we want but make up before dinner. I guess I will make a pathetic rapist.