ANY SUGGESTIONS?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
ANY SUGGESTIONS?????
13
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 12:39pm
OK I HAVE A PROBLEM. I AM A 23 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO AND I HAVE THIS STUPID ON AND OFF RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN. HE WAS IN PRISON FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS AND RECENTLY GOT OUT. I HAVE BEEN WITH OTHER MEN 2 TO BE EXACT IN THOSE TWO YEARS AND NO ONE IN THE LAST 10 MONTHS AND WE RECENTLY HAD SEX TOGETHER AND HIS RESPONCE TO ME IS "THERE IS NO WAY YOU HAVE NOT HAD SEX IN THAT LONG" EMBARASSING BUT DAMN IS IT THAT LOOSE OR IS HE JUST BEING MEAN. I KNOW AFTER YOU HAVE CHILDREN THINGS CHANGE BUT I DON'T THINK THAT MUCH. IF I AM THAT LOOSE AND NON SATISFYING IN BED WHAT SHOULD I DO? THIS IS TOTALLY JUST EMBARASSING TO ME BUT IT REALLY MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WHORE WHWN I'M NOT EVEN SLEEPING WITH ANYONE. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YA'LL THINK!!!!!

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 12:45pm

Maybe he's gotten used to different kinds of sex in prison? LOL! No seriously.

Where do guys get the idea that having normal intercourse will stretch out a vagina? Stupid. Not sure what to tell you but unless you experienced some damage during one of your deliveries, your vagina should be just fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 12:50pm
THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY! THANKS.
TO BE HONEST HE ALWAYS SAYS THINGS TO ME LIKE THAT AND I JUST THINK IT IS HIS WAY OF TRYING TO FIGURE SOMTHING OUT. BUT HE SAYS IT SO OFTEN THAT IT STARTS TO MAKE ME THINK MAYBE SOMTHING IS WRONG!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 1:16pm

Look, I don't know why he was in prison, but it's clear that he has some problems.

Do you think it's a good idea to be with someone who....1.)doesn't trust you and....2.)may have some issues that could affect you and your children in the future?

Just wondering if it's wise to keep waiting on this guy to change.




Edited 7/7/2006 1:17 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 2:16pm
NOT REALLY I THINK IT'S MORE OF A COMFORT ISSUE. I WAS WITH HIM FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS AND MOST OF IT IS I FELT LIKE I KNEW HIM. NOW IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO HE IS JUST ME BEING AFRAID OF FINDING SOMTHING NEW AND ENDING UP IN THE SAME SPOT. I KNOW SOUNDS DUM AND ALL BUT IT ALSO HAS A LOT TO DO WITH MY CHILDREN. BY THE WAY THE REASONS HE WAS IN PRISON ARE MINOR LIKE DUI AND PROBATION VIOLATION FOR THAT. NOTHING TOO SERIOUS TO AFFECT ME OR MY CHILDREN. BUT I HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND IT IS JUSST SO HARD TO LET GO OF YOUR FIRST AND THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN WHEN IT'S REALLY ALL I'VE GOT! THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING MAKE THE MOST SENCE.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 4:04pm

He's all you've got? Sorry, but that's not much. What did you have while he was away for two years...(DUI's and probation??).......who was taking care of you and your children then? You got along without him all that time, and you can get along without him now.

Is this what you want your children to grow up with? A scofflaw? Whether you have boys or girls......they will grow up to imitate what they see.....a man who doesn't obey laws, and a man who abuses their mother.

This guy is emotionally abusing you.....and as long as you feel he's better than nothing, he'll keep right on doing it. I have news for you.......NOTHING is better than being abused. At least you'll have your self respect!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 4:17pm
THANK YOU FOR SETTING ME STRAIGHT! BUT WHEN I SAID ALL IVE GOT I JUST MEANT AS FAR AS FAMILY GOES. I KNOW THAT ALL THAT YOU ARE SAYING IS THE TRUTH. BUT THERE IS JUST THAT PART OF ME THAT FEELS THE NEED TO HOLD ON. IN THE LAST TWO YEARS SINCE YOU ASKED I BECAME HOMLESS AND AM NOW WORKING AND GOING TO SCHOOL AND IT WAS A BIG STRUGGLE BEING LEFT WITH TWO CHILDREN ONE NEWBORN AND NO HELP AT ALL. THINGS GOT HARD. THINGS ARE HARD NOW AND IT'S KIND OF HARD NOT TO BE ABLE TO TURN TO THE ONE PERSON THAT SHOULD BE HELPING YOU AND CONTINUE TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY OWN. IT'S A PROCESS AND I AM WORKING ON IT AND TO BE REAL HONEST LINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON AND MAYBE I NEEDED TO HEAR SOMEONE TELL IT LIKE IT IS. IT'S HARDER TO SEE THINGS THE WAY THEY REALLY ARE FROM THE INSIDE OUT BUT YOU SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS WITH NO FEELINGS ATTACHED. SO THANK YOU FOR SHAREING HOW YOU FEEL!! SMILE
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 5:05pm

You were homeless, you are now working, going to school and being a mother to two kids, you are a very strong woman, you


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 5:24pm
AMEN to that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 11:21pm

tish is exactly right with what she said. You've done well to get back on your feet with two kids in tow. Make sure that you make the right choices for yourself and your children. This guy repeatedly made choices that led to him ending up in prision. No one gets sent to prison for two years by making one silly choice. Just don't forget that when he made these choices for these small crimes he clearly didn't worry about the effect that it would have on his family. If he had been very dedicated to his family he would have chosen to clean his act up and to NOT do the things that eventually landed him in jail.

Now that he is out I believe that he has to work extra hard to be a good father and to prove to you that he can now make choices that will be good for his children and for you. He's not off to a very good start if he's saying things that are insulting to you. It's insulting to you in a couple of ways - he's accusing you of being a slut, and he's personally insulting parts of your body. He should be pleased that you want to have anything to do with him - let alone have sex with him, and he's insulting you. Not a very clever guy in my opinion.

Look after yourself and your kids. Don't let this guy fool you or take advantage of you. Good luck and make sure that you make the right choices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 11:18am

Uh, ya! I have a suggestion!!! Lose this guy and straighten your life out! COME ON- think about your kids and stop being selfish!

P.S. When you type all in capitals its kind of annoying to read...

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