Anyone else ever done this?
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Anyone else ever done this?
| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 1:07pm |
I'm 50ish and always seem to date younger guys. I told myself I'd never settle for the wrong guy, so I've pretty much stayed single for quite some time. I've had the occasional 'friends with benefits' nights, but for the most part, haven't settled. Anyway, a couple months ago I met the man of my dreams, finally. He's everything I've ever wanted and the feeling is 100% mutual for the first time in my life.
Let me backtrack about most of my past sexual experiences over the past 10 years. As a norm, I must have my bottle of lube with me all the time. I'm dryer than a desert. My man can perform oral sex for however long, but when it comes time to have intercourse, I get dry really quick. This has happened with boyfriends that I thought I loved, and FB's as well.
Now, with the man of my dreams, it's insane! During intercourse, almost every single time, he must touch something inside me and it makes me gush to an extreme!!! He said he's never seen that before...nor has it ever happened to me, ever. Like I said, it's usually the opposite. So my question is: Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me all of a sudden? Has anyone else ever had this happen? I'm talking wet!! Leaves the bed sopping! Not just moist...or wet...I'm talking gushing! It's insane.
Just another reason I truly believe we belong together.
Help!
Let me backtrack about most of my past sexual experiences over the past 10 years. As a norm, I must have my bottle of lube with me all the time. I'm dryer than a desert. My man can perform oral sex for however long, but when it comes time to have intercourse, I get dry really quick. This has happened with boyfriends that I thought I loved, and FB's as well.
Now, with the man of my dreams, it's insane! During intercourse, almost every single time, he must touch something inside me and it makes me gush to an extreme!!! He said he's never seen that before...nor has it ever happened to me, ever. Like I said, it's usually the opposite. So my question is: Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me all of a sudden? Has anyone else ever had this happen? I'm talking wet!! Leaves the bed sopping! Not just moist...or wet...I'm talking gushing! It's insane.
Just another reason I truly believe we belong together.
Help!

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my partner in the siggy exchange
I know my DH was a very unexpected surprise in my life as well. We've been married for 16 years now, and I can't imagine ever being with anyone else!
I know that when we see senior couples holding hands or acting as if they actually like each other, we always comment "there we are in years to come". It's great that we both feel the same, and it is obvious to anyone that spends any time around us how we feel about each other.
We both feel lucky, and we both know how important it is to feel that way. Kudos to you for understanding the difference -- and the importance -- of these types of feelings!
my partner in the siggy exchange
I'm so happy for you...16 yrs! Wow! That's great and it's great that you found him so young AND that you still feel the same. However, I believe that if I'd have met mine years ago it wouldn't have worked out. He always says he wishes we'd have met 15 yrs ago, but don't think so. We'd have still been 'hot' for each other, but back in the day I was very different...a bit jealous (esp if I had a hot man)...over possessive (never would have been able to put up with this 'on the road' job)...just don't think it would have worked. I do wish we could've spent younger years together, but for now I'm just so very happy we found each other and we'll take advantage of the time we have together.
Anyone else found their 'perfect' man?
OMG purplepassion ... you hit me right on the head. I've been married 4 times ... the first 2 marriages were definitely wrong for me since I was young and just looking for someone to love me. But the last two marriages lasted 8 years and 14 years and were with good guys but there was alwaays something missing. I've been single for almost 6 years now and I was determined I was going to stay single. I liked living alone. I dated and I have had 2 fairly serious relationships in the last 6 years but nothing that could last. When the lat relationsh ended I sat down and wrote out my life story. I realized that I had always fallen for the first guy that showed he really wanted me, right guy or not. So I dated a lot. Most of them never went past the first or second date. 48 years old ... and really dating for the first time in my life.
At the time I met my soulmate I was actually dating 2 guys and flirting with a third. Then I met him. I had went out to the local niteclub totally frustrated with men because one of the guys I was dating was sending me so many mixed signals. I was determined just to have fun and ignore the men for the night. My SO followed me around the bar that night and on his third attempt to talk to me I looked in his eyes and thought .. I need to talk to this man. The first night I was with him we talked for hours and I started to wonder if love at first sight was possible. It was the way we meshed in attitude and mentally that made me think that. But the time we actually had sex ... it was mindblowing! By the end of our first week seeing each other I was asking people ... 'do you believe in soul-mates?' becaues I was positive that is what he is to me. The longer we are together the better it gets. We match so well in everything its amazing. He feels the same way. He tells me that he was walking a dark tunnel through life and that I brought the light to it. I swore I would never marry again, but if this man asked me to I would do it in a heartbeat.
I am so glad for you. But remember that you and your man, and me and mine are some of the lucky few. So many people never meet their soulmates, or don't recognize them when they do. It would have been way too easy for me to blow my guy off that night by not talking to him, I am just thankful that I looked into his eyes when I did so I could recognize that I needed to talk to him. It changed everything I every believed about love and life. It made me realize that I never actually loved any man before.
You just enjoy what you have!! We are definitely the lucky ones!
Edited 7/26/2007 11:57 am ET by tami-kins
At last!! Someone that knows how I feel! Yes, the more we are together the better it is. So many strange things have happened. He'll call me when I'm getting ready to text him. One time while he was on the road I'd written him a letter. I wanted to call or text him and remind him to read it after I'd just got off the phone with him 45 minutes earlier and he said he was going to call it a night...very tired from driving all day. So I didn't call him, but thought about it at 930, thinking "I hope he read that tonight". At 945 he called me...he just finished reading that letter. Kind of 'Radar Love'. Weird things like that happen all the time. Not to mention that sex thing!!! That has NEVER happened to me in my life. There is nothing I can think of that makes me believe this isn't meant to be (perhaps some may say there's a problem with him being 13 yrs younger than me...but that's not an issue with us).
He says I brought out feelings in him that he thought he would never feel...same as your man. And yes, I felt the same way about marriage. Told all my friends I'd never ever get married again. Why would I?? But if he asked me, I'd marry him in a heartbeat. My friends have never seen me this way...and everyone says we are the perfect couple. It's so mutual, which is another thing I've never had. One person always loves more...and the one who loves the most always loses! You can't make someone feel the way you want them to feel.
You and I are indeed a couple of the lucky few. I can't say I know any couple as perfect as we are...a few are close, but not as good. We can just sit for hours with no TV, no one else around, have a couple drinks and just talk. I've gone on runs with him while he's working for hours/days with no radio and just had great conversations.
So how long have you been with your man? So many say that I'm old enough to know that you can't say you found the 'man of your dreams' in such a short time, but we've spent so much time together just talking and getting to know each other I feel this time it's right. I've never even had a 'honeymoon stage' with a man that's gone on this long. Plus, it's never been this intense right from the start with anyone....something was there right from the moment we looked into each others eyes.
Funny story about how we met...and how close we'd come to meeting in the past, but never did. I could never have blown him off once I looked into his eyes though. I'll tell you about it if you would like to know.
Dang girl we got to talk lol. And YES I want to hear your story!
I have been with my guy for a little over 2 months, but every moment we can, we spend together and we have been doing that since the first week we met. When we aren't together we will IM or talk on the phone for hours every day. We can't get enough of each other in all ways. A lot of the time we are together we are with his 15 y/o DD ... I have grown to love her too. She is so much like her dad. I understand how people can say 'you haven't known each other long enough' but I feel like I have known this man forever. The same things happen to us too. We are forever saying the same thing at the same time. He is gone during the week often for his job and sleeps strange hours sometimes. Since I really became close to him and realized that I was in love with him, I have been waking up early mornings (never did that before) thinking of him. He would tell me when he called that morning that he got up at so and so time and headed out. About the third time he did that I realized that I was waking up just a few minutes after he would and thinking of him before falling back to sleep. Started telling him when he called me what time he woke up ... more often than not I am right LOL. Weird .. but true. He feels the same way I do too.
I don't think I have watched TV hardly at all since I met him either. We watch movies occasionally but I'd just as soon play chess with him and talk. Or just play *grin*.
He keeps telling me that if we had met when we were 16 we would have ended up having 10 kids by now lol. Not likely, would have stopped at 3. But he spent time in the town I grew up in and more than likely in the summers we saw each other since his father lived here and he would visit. We were born 20 days apart so its quite likely we were both doing the same things. I tell him that if we had met then that it probably wouldn't have worked. We both needed to experience our lives the way we did to become who we are now. I don't think he would have loved me as well if he had met me as a teenager. I was pretty screwed up. From the sounds of it, so was he. We had many many similar things happen to us in our lives. We are both Geminis, and I feel like he is a male (VERY male) version of myself. Both of us have unusual similar attitudes about many things and are intelligent, love to play chess, really like all the things the other one likes. The sex is amazing because we are both so similar in our appetites there. He touches places in me no man ever approached. If there is such a thing as soulmates ... we are definitely it.
Its amazing isn't it :) That you can get to a point where you think your life is going to just go along a set course and you are just going to be as happy as you can make yourself and you find someone like that. I was happy before when I was alone. Now I am estactic, as if it doesn't show lol.
Edited 7/26/2007 1:49 pm ET by tami-kins
I wonder ... did realizing the intensity of your feelings for your guy scare the living crap out of you? It sure did me. And I didn't understand it because I had never felt that way before about anyone but my own kids (that intense love). I am still learning about how to handle this. At least I know for sure that he does feel the same way. Being on the same wavelength is great for that!
It still scares me though sometimes because losing him would devastate me totally. But to love intensely you must be willing to hurt completely I guess. Although I trust him fully with my heart he could still break it so easily! Its like I am 16 again sometimes.
"Any more stories like mine out there? I'm sure there are and I'd love to hear about it."
I have a happy ending story. As I was growing up, my best friend was a boy who was not real popular in class. We had a connection that was evident even before middle school. He always wanted to be my boyfriend, but we went to a small school, and image was everything, so my foolish pride caused me to date the popular boys in the school. I ended up marrying one of those popular boys, and was with him for 17 years, until we got divorced a couple years ago.
Through all of those years, my connection with my best friend stayed strong. We went through a few rocky patches, like when the high school BF (later H), didn't like the idea of me having him as a friend, I distanced myself from him for a couple years. When I was a freshman in college, we reconnected on the phone, and after growing up a bit, realized that I needed to make it clear to the BF that this was a friendship I wasn't willing to give up. He accepted it.
I visited with my friend when I came home from my college breaks. I think it was during my sophomore year in college that I realized that I was attracted to him on a romantic level, and we actually kissed. I was so confused, because of my relationship with the BF, I felt guilty for cheating but it felt so natural and right, and almost magical. He was involved with someone at the time, and we both agreed that it shouldn't have happened, and we just moved on with our lives keeping the friendship as it was.
When I told him I was engaged to be married, he broke down and shared his feelings of love for me (which have never really been a secret, but they were not really discussed for years). He asked me if that was what I really wanted, and when I told him that it was, he never brought up those feelings for many, many years. At my wedding, as I was walking down the aisle, he had tears in his eyes and I felt a wrenching feeling in my gut, but I continued on. I think his girlfriend also had tears in her eyes - tears of happiness because she knew how he felt about me, and having me married decrease the threat of me interfering with his relationship.
We continued talking regularly. He would often call while I was in grad school, and my H was completely okay with this relationship. While a couple conversations led to the "what if we were together" topics, for the most part they were quite innocent and friendly. We gave each other advice on our respective relationships.
When I was doing my field research, I needed an assistant with me in Canada. My H had work obligations, so my friend went up there with me for a week to give me a hand collecting samples and mapping in the field. This was the beginning of a complex story that evolved over the next few years. That same connection we had was intense, and obvious. Since I really only saw him a couple times a year, and most of our conversations were on the phone, I don't think the opportunity really presented itself for this undeniable attraction on an all levels. We ended up becoming intimate. I ended up becoming so confused, and guilty and excited all at the same time. It was then that I realized I made the wrong decision to be married. My marriage was okay, I mean we got along well and had a lot of fun together, but nothing could prepare me emotionally for this.
After reflection, I was prepared to tell my H that our relationship couldn't work and the reasons why. I talked to my friend about my decision, and he convinced me that we just needed to put it past us. That it was a fantasy fulfilled, but the reality was that we were already walking down paths in our lives with commitments to others, and that we needed to stick by those decisions. It really kind of broke my heart (as I had broken his years before), but I accepted it and moved on. I didn't talk to him for 6 years, because I was repressing my emotions for him so I could move on with my life, and I knew if we talked that I would really mess me up. My H and I had a little boy (he is now 7). Things in the marriage were relatively good. It was a good family, but something was missing in my heart, and ultimately led to divorce. During the divorce process, I was so tempted to call my friend for support, but deliberately stayed away from him because I felt vulnerable and
didn't want him to get the wrong idea after not talking to him for so many years.
Eventually, we reconnected. He was single after a nasty break-up, and I was new in the dating scene, and the fire was lit so quickly and intensely I cannot even describe it. When we kissed, I could feel the butterflies in my belly all the way to my toes. When we talked, it was like no time had passed. We talked about regrets in life. While we both regretted being unfaithful to our SO's at the time, because it simply wasn't fair to them, we also agreed that our experience in Canada was one of the most exciting times that each of us thought about and fantasized about often. At the beginning of this renewed relationship, there was such passion...it was unbelievable. Too good to be true..... like all the stars in the sky had just the right alignment, and the angels were singing, and all in the world was just wonderful!! My ex-H and I were still amicable, and I talked to him about what I was feeling. He got a little crabby about it, and chalked it up to a "honeymoon" phase. He told me not to get my hopes up, because it would die down.
Well, it is three years later, and we are getting married in couple weeks. The same intense passion is there, and probably more intense than it was three years ago. We have had our ups and downs, as I have shared some on these boards, but continue to stay strong and connected. When I kiss him, I still feel the butterflies in my stomach all the way down to my toes, and I feel like I am on the most natural high imaginable. I feel so truly blessed, I cannot even find to words to describe it, but I get a sense that even after a couple of months, you ladies are experiencing with your BF's much of what I am still feeling after three years. If you are connected like this... you have so much to look forward to.
Now I'm crying again... That was so beautiful....
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding...
I'm very happy for you, Aubry...that's great. Too bad you had to wait so long, since you knew each other as children.
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