Anyone get nervous or anxious?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
Anyone get nervous or anxious?
2
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 12:21am

I've been lurking for a while, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this, but does anyone else ever get nervous or anxious at the thought of having sex? I've been with my bf for almost a year now, and I trust him completely. Our sex life is not bad--there's room for improvement, but it's definitely not bad. But for some reason, I get nervous when I think about having sex, and it makes me feel very inhibited and not want to initiate. I wish I felt more relaxed, more sexual, but I'm not sure how to do it.

Has anyone ever had this problem, and if so, what have you done to fix it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 10:22am

Hi Abhainn and welcome to the board.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:27pm

Hi, and thank you for the reply! My bf and I have been sexually active for about 9 months. I've had this problem before, with the nervousness, with other boyfriends in the past, but I thought that with this one it would be different because I really trust him and love him. We communicate about what we like, etc., and things are generally very good in terms of my sexual satisfaction level. And In the past I've never had any unpleasant sex experiences, nothing traumatic or pressured or anything.

I'm definitely self-conscious about how I look naked, and how I look during sex, even though he says he loves my body. I had lost a lot of weight a long time ago and my skin never quite snapped back, plus I still have about 30 pounds to lose. So it's hard for me to feel uninhibited because of that.

But I find that I just get nervous even before we start fooling around--just the idea of it makes me a little anxious. It doesn't stop me from being sexually active, and once we're actually fooling around and having sex I'm okay, but but I feel like I'd enjoy myself a lot more if I was just able to look forward to it like everyone else does.