Anyone a voyeur..he LOVES to watch!
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Anyone a voyeur..he LOVES to watch!
| Thu, 07-01-2004 - 6:09pm |
OK..we have a great relationship. The only issue we are struggling with is the fact that he likes to watch, sometimes more than he likes to participate. I have never, ever dealt with anything like this. He says basically 70% of the time, he gets off more by watching me, and us talking about me with anouther man or woman or both. It's always been a fantasy of mine to be with 2 men, and a woman...so the fact that that turns him on doesn't bother me. We have AWESOME sex...but sometimes I feel a little rejected because he would rather watch me and jerk himself off instead of me giving him oral, etc. I know 100% that he loves me, and is attracted to me. Am I being too sensitive? I mean, he wants me to have sex with another man and/or woman while he watches..wow!!! I am a very very sexual person, and this really turns me on that I can have sex with other men with his blessing. Should I feel rejected?
Is anyone else out there a "watcher" or with a "watcher"...I desprately need some serious advice here...Do I just roll with it, and deal with feeling slighted sometimes? What else can I do? I told him I wish I could just flip a switch and turn off this side of him, but I can't. I love him, and I would never ever leave him, but should I just make the best of it??
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!
Thank you
Cathi

Do you think you could indulge his need to watch forever? Do you want to be doing this when you're 65? I think you need to think this through very carefully and decide what you'll be agreeing to.
IF he cares for you as much as you care for him, then he'll need to be willing to compromise some of HIS desires so that you don't feel "trapped" into a lifestyle you weren't bargaining for.
Weigh everything you know and feel and then decide what's best for you. I say....listen to your gut.
To me, having hubby jerk off watching me is pretty rare. Okay on occasion, but not every time or even every other time.
I get off on the idea of wtching my girl with another man or woman, but fantasy is as far as we willl likely ever take it ... we both understand the emotional difference between fantasy and reality. Plus, I would think that if he wants to play the fantasy out, so he can tell you the fantasy of how hot it is to imagine seeing you enjoy another man as it's really him instead ... we like that alot, and do the role play for each other too.
To me though, even when sex is getting rather kinky (oh, my secrets, lol) I still love her deeply and that makes the chemistry of the fantasy even hotter. Just tell him you want to feel him ... if it's a two way street (and to say you just want anything, like pleasing him orally) he should jump at the chance, or this has already gone a bit too far.
Good Luck!!!
Michael
Some people can pull off threesomes sucessfully, but I don't think most can. Fantasies are one thing...reality is quite different. If my partner couldn't enjoy ME, and enjoy pleasuring me, he wouldn't be my partner very long.