an awkward question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
an awkward question...
6
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:08pm
Me and my bf have been together for 5 months now and we are moving things really slow cause i am really inexperienced and freak out easily about stuff. Recently things have been going really well and i am considering letting him finger me, as he has tried a few times but i have stopped him. I am really self conscious about my ahh, down-there area. The inner lips of my vagina are much bigger than the outer ones and stick out so you can see them quite a bit. Is this even normal and I'm totally afraid that my bf is going to think that I'm f'd up or something. I'm not really sure what to do cause i really want to move things forward in our relationship. Someone please help! Thank you :0]
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:34pm

Your body is yours alone, and it's unique. We're all different, not only in our sexual organs, but EVERYWHERE. We all have different noses, different ears, different teeth, and different EVERYTHING.

Men (boys) do NOT judge us by the size of our labia. Men love women's bodies. If they're experienced, they know we're all different. If they're NOT experienced, then they will learn that eventually. If a boy rejects you because of the size of your labia, then they're only interested in what they can get from you.

Men have different sized and different colored penises, too. Will you freak out if his isn't what you expect it to be?

It sounds like you're NOT ready to be sexually active. If you were ready, you wouldn't even THINK about what your genitals look like. You'd just enjoy learning about intimacy. Until you can handle things without "freaking out", you'd better just NOT get involved sexually.

If you'd like to see all the differences in female genetalia, go to www.the-clitoris.com and look at the pictures of clitorises. Different colors, different sizes, and different shapes, and men love them ALL!

You need to learn to love your body before you're ready to share it with someone else!

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:47pm

Don't worry, hockey. Having larger labia minora is very common.

I would suggest that you familiarize yourself with REAL pictures of female genitalia, not what you may have seen in porn, which can be VERY deceptive.

If you can find a book called "Femalia" in your local bookstore or library, you'll see the wide range of "normal" in female genitalia. You'll be very surprised.

Don't worry though....you're totally fine. And unless they're getting caught in your pant zipper, your labia are normal, as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 1:14am

As the others have said, everyone comes in different sizes, shapes and shades. Your labia and vagina is no different - having larger labia minora is really common. I bet that you didn't know that for years Playboy had to airbrush the labia of their models to comply with censorship laws. The indecency laws said that you couldn't show genitals and magazines got away with it by using a technically where they said that a woman's genitals were mostly internal and only the labia were the externally visible parts!!!! So they airbrushed out anything that stuck out a bit!!!! Consequently a lot of people got a funny idea of what a normal woman's vulva looked like.

Personally I've always thought that the labia were quite sexy. There's nothing quite like seeing that part of your woman's body exposed especially when she's aroused. Pink and soft and moist and parting like a delicate flower.... I know that I'm not the only guy that likes it so don't be worried about it. You're more than likely perfectly normal!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2005
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 7:27am

hockey,

You really bring up two questions, one explicit and one implicit.

Men enjoy the excitement of exploring women's genitals. Men find them fascinating and very special. They can be the source of so much pleasure for you and him both. Whether your labia minora seem unusual to you, what are you using as a reference? They're yours; they're fine.

You seem to be more than a little confused and uncertain about moving ahead sexually. I think you should take it slowly and move along based on your understanding and confidence in sexual intimacy. Learn to communicate with your guy. Learn to listen to him and to tell him what he needs to know about your feelings.

Relax. There's plenty of time to develop your sexuality at a pace that's right for you.

David.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 7:50am

Every woman's genitals are different in looks but they are all normal.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 9:53pm
You should not ask what is noraml. Who cares. What's normals just going to make you worry.You should only ask what you want based on you not society or other woman. ask Do I want to move forward not am I wierd. There is something wierd about all of us. Our uniqueness is what makes us beautiful.