Awkward Situation
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Awkward Situation
| Sat, 10-30-2004 - 11:12pm |
Is it possible for a guy to enter you from behind (like you're bending over a desk or something) in your anus and him not know it's not your vagina? In other words, would a man know the difference between the anus and the vagina? I'm with a new boyfriend and I'm afraid he thinks he's entering my vagina when he does this, however he is not. I'm not really sure how to ask him or discuss this with him.

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And I hope he's not going back and forth between unprotected anal and vaginal sex because this opens you up to all kinds of bacterial infections.
This sounds like a fairly new relationship - you've only had intercourse 4 times and two of those were anally? That's pretty risky action for partners who don't know each other that well. If you can't even talk about sex, or BC or pregnancy, then you two need to slow down until you can. There's no reason to be embarrassed about it, but if you can go through with the intimacy of him putting his penis in various orifices, you should at least be able to talk about it! I'm betting he hasn't had any testing, so you don't know what you're being exposed to. Girl, you are taking some chances.
If you're going to have sex and you're not ready to be a mommy, then be responsible and get on some reliable BC. Have him wear condoms, until you know him better and you BOTH have been tested. And get comfortable talking to him about sex.
You are having sex with this guy and are too shy to discuss this with him? It sounds like you jumped into a sexual relationship before getting to know each other.
Tally-That's why I asked for y'alls opinions. No worries. I have already decided to get on the pill, but that can't happen until my period. And I have bought a supply of condoms and keep them beside my bed (this is something I've NEVER done and am 36 YOA). I've been on the pill all the times before and in exclusive relationships, never with someone who I hardly know.
I feel like a fool and need to take a step back and re-evaluate things I think.
Paula
Really, I think you hit the nail on the head - take a step back and think it over. Not that it can't be a good. But if he's in his 30s and you're in your 30s, you both probably have *some* experience. (and to echo the other posters, yes, he knows where he is!) I just hate to see anyone take chances like that.
I think that he probably considers anal sex just as risky as vaginal sex because semen can go everywhere - dripping, squirting or whatever - and your vagina is only centimetres away.
Like the others have said, if you've got to the stage where you can have anal sex with someone without even being sure that they know they are having anal sex, then something in the relationship needs to be reconsidered.
If it's closeness that you want, I suggest that a hug might be a better way of getting intimate quickly. Don't feel like a fool - we all do some stuff in the heat of passion that afterwards we have thought maybe it wasn't such a great idea.
It sounds as if he believes that a woman can get pregnant anally though. You need to educate him.
I'm with the others - if you are close enough to be having sex, you're close enough to have a discussion about what you like. It doesn't have to be anything deep and meaningful. A simple "Oy! I don't want it in me bum" will suffice.
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