Bad boys?..whats the attraction?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Bad boys?..whats the attraction?
98
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:58pm
Is it true that many women want a really nice guy, but only after they have had their brains screwed out by all the bad boys they can handle? What is the attraction of a male slut, who treats a woman so poorly?

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Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 5:08pm
humpdaddy, i don't know what your story is, but in my experience guys that complain "i'm a nice guy and that's why girls don't like me" are not being honest with themselves. he is usually a very needy character and that is a turn off, not the fact that he is nice. a solid self identity is often lacking, and the "nice guy" tries to fill the emptiness through the relationship. the girl senses it's not so much about her, but about filling the void and goes running. again, nothing wrong with nice, but on the whole both sexes want to be with someone that is an equal, that can engage and challenge them, and that can only be done by someone that has a strong self identity, and an identity of "nice guy" somehow doesn't cover it.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 5:14pm
It might be a lack of self esteem, and it could be a lack of self restraint.

Could it be that what they see is a man that they dont have to worry about him getting attatched>..Maybe they want to use him as much as he wants to use her. Good guys might "fall in love", no chance of that with the bad boy. A one night stand is a good example of this. Just the young, curious,mischievious,immature, side coming out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 5:32pm

No problem Christy, if you were ok with it that's fine.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 6:21pm
I think that Scott, as was myself, thought your post was prompted by your comment in another post about cheating. You said that your wife cheated on you with a bad boy and you never looked at her the same way again. I, like Scott, assumed it was something that still bothered you since you began a thread on bad boys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 7:07pm
Hi HD,

That's great news! I personally hate details about my wife's former lovers...yuck. However, I was kind of the bad boy when we got together. I was considered by all of her friends to be a bad risk...turned out pretty well though after sixteen years we're still going strong.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 7:16pm
Oh goody, a real life ex bb! Scott, when you say risk, what do you mean? How were you a risk?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 8:59pm
that is possible, but not likely.most of the women who *date* bad boys believe that they are going to change him & that they are goin to make him fall in love with them. some of them are treated so badly it amazes me that they take it.one time there was a big brawl because one of our other friends couldn't stand it any longer.the bad boy spit on his girlfriend and motioned(but did not) a kick at her.*shudder* most of the women that i know would never sleep with a bad boy not even for a one-nighter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 10:56pm

humpdaddy,


I guess I've

  

   who_reallyknows

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 11:49pm

After reading all of

  

   who_reallyknows

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 8:52am
Sugar, let me define a "nice guy" as I understand it. A nice guy, isnt an angel, but isnt a male whore either. A nice guy doesnt want to marry a whore. A nice guy understands the "needs" of women and respects women as people and not just as sex objects. A nice guy will normally call when he says he will. A nice guy is responsible and conducts his life in such a manner.

What a nice guy isnt...He isnt a door mat..He isnt a player..he isnt insensitive to the needs, wants, and desires of women.he isnt needy..he isnt insecure about women liking him.

The person you described isnt me.

If a women doesnt want the nice guy I described, and would prefer a bad boy ,who is the opposite of what I described, then so be it. I just dont understand that type of thinking.

Its almost like self destruction, self degragation. Maybe not feeling worthy of a "good man".

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