Bad boys?..whats the attraction?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Bad boys?..whats the attraction?
98
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:58pm
Is it true that many women want a really nice guy, but only after they have had their brains screwed out by all the bad boys they can handle? What is the attraction of a male slut, who treats a woman so poorly?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 9:03am
I think that the problem with this thread is that no one is talking about exactly the same thing. That is what happens when when you try to polarize all people (or men in this case) into two "types". It just doesn't work because almost no one fits into those types very well. Who_really, it sounds like your husband is definately a prude and innefectual and a bit strange to boot. Please do not imbue all non-jerks with those qualities.

-phat

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anonymous user
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 9:06am
After reading a few more posts , I will say this. A "good" guy can be aggressive in bed, and be the sexual partner most any women would want...judging a book by its cover,isnt always the best way.

Different women want different types , to be sure. Fortunately, my wife likes the 6` 215 lb athletic type who treats her well and satisfies her every need in and out of the bedroom.........
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:29am

Completely agree with you Humpdaddy.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:45am
Well, then I guess that's why I married my BB almost 6 years ago (not because of pregnancy, as many couples do) but because we are truly in love. It was not a one night stand either, because I may have a free spirit, but not a free a*s! We didn't have sex until 6 months after we started dating exclusively. But anyway, I believe that if a man loves you, he will change for the sake of the relationship, but I also believe that if a woman has no moral, and sleeps with him the first night, no matter how good this bad boy can get, he will never take her seriously,
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 12:07pm
i agree with phat, the two categories are polarizing. i doubt most people like to be treated like crap by a bad boy or be bored to death with a nice guy. i like nice guys with an edge or bad boys that care about something other than themselves.

humpdaddy -- so have you ever gone for the "bad girl"?

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anonymous user
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 3:31pm
Sugarbeat, when I was young I did a few things I`m not proud of...lol Where I grew up, if a young man was gonna get any sexual "experiance" (and wasnt in any kind of relationship) the bad girls were always available. Young women , on the other hand, dont really have to stoop that low..Most any young man would be more than willing to oblige her wishes, not just bad boys.
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anonymous user
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 3:40pm
Tish, again we agree. I cant even imagine making love and not doing my damnest to please the woman Im with. Where lovers are concerned..a sexually selfish boyfriend will probably be a selfish husband in the bedroom also.(that can go towards women too).I remember a line in a movie and it was a couple of young women pursuing a "bad boy"...One of the gals said under her breath.."c`mere mister and treat me like the trash that I am. I think that statement went a long ways in defining where her self esteem was.
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 4:00pm
i think sexuality is very complex, and just because you want to be treated like "trash" occasionally doesn't mean you have low self-esteem. there is a whole subculture (sado-masochists) that get off on extreme power dynamics in the bedroom. i think they are generally grossly misunderstood. many masochists have expressed that being submissive is very empowering for them. i think in a very light way the attraction to bad boys may play into some of these power dynamics.

i don't agree with you that the quote you mentioned means the woman had poor self-esteem. because it is still not popularly accepted for women to be promiscuous or overtly sexual, some women may feel they have to play into the slut/whore/bad girl stereotype to allow the wild woman within to come to the surface. and in that way, you can view the quote you mentioned as quiet the opposite of what you perceive it to be -- empowering of women's sexuality.

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anonymous user
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 5:14pm
Sugar good points......My opinion of guys who sleep with many many women is no different than women who do so. It isnt usually just about the sex. Its about insecurity, ego,curiousity,etc. People rationalise it by saying they "love sex" or they want different experiances, or one person cant satisfy my needs..whatever. They are searching for who they really are. Problem is they wont find it in the next bed they have sex in. People have cheapened the sex act itself so much, that it is not held as sacred as it used to be, which may be one of the causes of the epidemic of marital cheating that goes on.(I was feeling pretty good about myself when I was out having plenty of sex ,maybe I should restart that behavior on the sly) Happens all the time.

Kind of like the average person when they ride a roller coaster for the first time, pretty special feeling. But the more you ride coasters the less exhilarating it becomes. So one might go to different amusement parks in search of the next great ride..and so on and so on. Promiscuious people, remind me of the roller coaster rider. The more you look for the thrill the harder it becomes to get thrilled. Untill riding a coaster is no big deal at all. After all those coasters they have riden, could they possibly ever go and stick to one coaster and be satisfied? (some yes) others probably not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 5:38pm

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