Bad boys?..whats the attraction?
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Bad boys?..whats the attraction?
| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:58pm |
Is it true that many women want a really nice guy, but only after they have had their brains screwed out by all the bad boys they can handle? What is the attraction of a male slut, who treats a woman so poorly?

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It did.
This statement here:
>>He knows he -could- probably just use me because i like him that much
..says volumes about you. He could probably use you if he wanted to. A woman with dignity and self esteem would not allow herself to be used by a man.
You, like many women, love "men" more than you love yourself. I used quotes because I don't know that you actually love THIS man, though I am sure you think you do (personally, I don't think that true love can be determned in the space of a few months, but that is another thread / post). You love FEELING like you do with this person...you crave wanting to be accepted, you crave wanting "win someone over". This is what attracts you (by your admission) to bad boys...someone who accepted you immediately without you having to "win them over" would not statisfy this need of yours...hence your comment regarding how you don't like that "nice guys" actually care about you.
The good thing is though that women like yourself typically come with huge warning signs, so that "nice guys" can avoid you in the first place. Or even not so nice guys (like me) are smart enough to never get emotionally invested. I've known your "type" before, sometimes your type is lots of fun (that low self esteem thing makes for some great adventures in the bedroom sometimes), but ultimately, when time comes to forge a relationship with someone, guys with good sense turn to a woman who is a complete and whole and healthy person.
All that notwithstanding, I am glad for you that you are enjoying the roller coaster ride of bubble baths and hot sex. If that is all what you want in life, then it is great that you have found it.
Edited 10/6/2004 11:23 am ET ET by ivmalealterego
Sex is not a basic human need. People go without sex all the time, sometimes by choice, sometimes not by their choice. If it were a need...like air or water or food, they would die.
Sex is not a need. It is a desire. People CHOSE to have sex, and those who have self control often chose not to have sex.
Isn't there something that distinguishes these two groups? Do you really think it can just be summarized as simply being naive? If that is so, then why do these women often repeat the same mistake? Doesn't THAT say something about them as well, the inability to act on a lesson learned?
I think THAT is what Mike is speaking to...
Mike: Don't worry buddy...while I wouldn't have chosen exactly the words you did, I agree 100% with the sentiment. No need to shed a tear over a woman who is involved with someone who clearly isn't "like you". You aren't her type, and she isn't yours either...
Shed some tears for her, because hopefully she'll get out before she's marred for life by his beatings or his mistreatment of her kills whatever self-esteem she had(yes, many of these women have good self-esteem when they meet him and in many cases). He on the other hand, never had self-esteem which is why he needs to treat women badly to make himself feel macho and in control. I would advise any woman to avoid them like the plague, but I wouldn't necessarily tell a man to avoid a woman who's had a bad boy. She most likely became stronger for it. Wisdom is power.
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Initilly, it is probably a sexual attraction. Some women may do it once or twice because they are naive. They learn and move on to nice guys.
Some women see it as a challenge, and they think they can change the guy (most likely wont happen).They too learn from the experience and move on.
Then there is the woman who goes from bad boy to bad boy several times. Probably a low self esteem here.
Sex, being naive,challenge, low self esteem, and I`m sure there could be a mix of each in all cases.
Some mentioned a holier than tho attitude by some men who look down on these women.
I guess what amazes me is the fact that some women feel they can go out a screw tons of guys, bad boys or not ,and then expect a nice guy to understand. To each his/her own.
jerk.Miss_Attitude
Hmmmm, does THIS ever smack of the conventional double standard?! I'm equally amazed at the number of men in general who screw TONS and TONS of women then expect to find the "Vestal Virgin" when they try to settle down. There's no reason to share how many people one has slept with unless it continues while in a relationship and/or brings health issues into play. Both men and women tend to get too worked up over past encounters of a partner. We all make mistakes. We all would do well to learn from them then leave them where they belong---in the past. I do agree to each his own. :0)
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