Bad boys?..whats the attraction?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Bad boys?..whats the attraction?
98
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:58pm
Is it true that many women want a really nice guy, but only after they have had their brains screwed out by all the bad boys they can handle? What is the attraction of a male slut, who treats a woman so poorly?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 9:28pm
And incidentally, quilts aren't knitted. They're sections of fabric cut to specific measurements and joined by sewing machine, although they can be hand-pieced. I might also add that, while I AM originally from West Virginia, I arrived in Central Florida by way of several continental states, Europe and then again several more continental states. My education of cultural idioms, urban slang AND proper languages fas surpasses Central Florida. Incidentally, one belonging to a particular race CAN be prejudiced against said race. Therefore your race is irrelevant, as is mine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 10:31pm
>>Messed up women are to be avoid like the plague in regards to intimate relatrionships and emotional investment...I AVOID them and the walking failures they are.<<

Strange, I remember witnessing many women becoming better along with their men after being involved in trusting relationships...not all of them have been as negative as experiences describe.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 12:31pm
Bad boys....opposites attract, or birds of a feather? which is it?...lol (personally I think its a sexual thing)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 1:47pm
because in our hearts of hearts we think we can change them!!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 2:50pm
Kitten you are attracted to them because you think you can change them, or is it a sexual attraction to to someone who is not exactly socially acceptable, and you hold hope you can change them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 3:02pm

I don't know about anyone else, but bad boys have never held an appeal to me personally.

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Fear

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 3:43pm
I understand your confusion with this because I feel the same way, and I AM a woman. However, I can tell you that it isn't necessarily about a guy being a "male slut". There are plenty of "bad boys" out there who aren't like that (though there are a lot more who are). I guess women like bad boys because of the thrill and the danger of living on the edge. That and I think that a lot of us women think that maybe we can eventually change such a guy into a better guy eventually, or that he'll fall so "in love" with us that he'll Want to change so that he doesn't "lose" us. Unfortunately, that never happens and we end up heartbroken while he moves on. Not all bad boys are abusive either, but they are also few in number, too. I think it goes both ways, though, that a lot of guys want a girl who doesn't care and will try anything at least once before they settle down and find a good respectable, nice woman to spend the rest of their life with. I've seen that side of it, too. All I can tall you is that there is really no good, simple explanation to answer that question. I'm not even sure most women can answer it for themselves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 12:21pm
Yay...finally i hear the words! And not from my own set of voices in my head....makes it easier to breathe. If only external confirmation werent so affective on a young gal these days!
I mean hey, i havent exactly had the easiest time understanding my sexual identity as i move towards mid-20's. In fact-growing hasnt ever seemed more confusing a battle- i cant imagine this a nicely smooth sailin' aquirement of self for a single damned female out there.
I'll admit, I'm slightly biased as to the ways I've witnessed some of society MORE GENERALLY tending to positively encourage males towards openly exploring their sexuality earlier; yet at the same time females around the similiar age group I've seen MORE GENERALLY discouraged away from sexual behavior/identity typically by the social "norm" (if not by negative asssociations from the laws of nature:blood/pain w/menstration/fear of pregnancy/fear of penetration; not to mention awareness of rape,incest..).
What gets me the most confused lately (just going by what i've seen-i need your perspectives!) is the tendancy for males to be able to develop a MORE GENERALLY-accepted seperation in their relationships between the material(purely physical significance) and the mental processes(emotional,any cognitive reasoning:..moral,ect.). Now those are obviously the two opposite ends of the spectrum, but is it just me, or has it been more common that we watch our male friends making more COMFORTABLY generous leaps across to their likings of the spectrum, over watching the same of our female friends?
If you know kinda what i'm saying, also know that personally, i find such an undertaking close to humanly impossible-unless really mentally ill or something. I mean, no one could just strictly obey their most immediate animalistic impulses 100% of the time or we would have no difference from most of the more natural living species around us: we're just the sentiently-impaired cognitive fools of this world. But why then does it appear to me to be easier for that mind/body seperation by a guy then a girl; and also socially acceptable to be so? S*it, sometimes it just seems damn unfair....ya ya if u tell me life is unfair i might have ta sock ya.
see? ive even become slightly more apt towards a physically batted out solution in all my recent insanity-and im just_some_grl! That, and i quit havin sex! I cant stop thinking about this kind of crap whether it be my age, race, sex, religion, or what i dunno-but whatever it is, it takes a lot for an extremley passionate, sexual, once mentally healthy person to just suddenly chose to opt out!
I was startin to think i was the only one with (without?) any sense...thanks for the breath of fresh air "ivmalealterego".....
i was also startin ta think, woah! maybe u can just drop dead if u go without sex for too long!! and hopefully i'll continue to understand this as false until i figure myself the *%ck out.
Hands down ta the much needed distinction between needs and desires, choice and self control.
And any distinctions any1 can bring into anything i've laid out just_some_grl could use please!!!!

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