Bad images while trying to...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Bad images while trying to...
4
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 11:56pm
I recently saw my parents doing something, that I want to rip my eyes out for seeing, and now when my boyfriend and I are trying to... That damn image pops into my head. It's so frustrating and I dont know how to erase that from what Im doing at the moment. I really want some help on how to get past it and actually enjoy what we are trying to do. PLEASE HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 12:28am

It's hard for most of us to imagine our parents as sexual beings.....but they ARE, or you wouldn't be here! Whatever they were doing, be GLAD that your parents are sexually active, and loving each other. If you can make yourself understand that they were doing the same thing you're doing even before you were born, and that is what two people who love each other DO with each other......maybe you can get it out of your mind.

Or, the other way around.....if it's ok for YOU to do it, why is it not ok for them to do the same things?

And from now on, now that you know what they do when you're not around, then make sure they KNOW you're around before you walk in on them! Just accept that they're normal healthy sexual people, and be happy they're in love with each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 12:42am
Yeah thats fine but that's not what I mean. I just can't get the stupid image out of my head long enough to enjoy myself. They can do whatever but its like a reocuring bad image in my head like telling someone not to think about Pink elephants. THe first thing that pops in their head is pink elephants. Maybe Im just not explaining it well enough. I know that time will make me forget but for now Im dying. Maybe its like you wear a certain black dress to someone's funeral, from that point on everytime you see that dress you are reminded of how sad you were and now you can never wear it again. How do you get over it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 1:21am

The same way you get over any bad experience. You put it out of your mind. You control your mind....and it's no different than any other "baggage" that you choose to carry.

When you look at the dress.....it's just a dress....and you happened to wear it to a sad occasion.....but you can just as well wear it to a good occasion, too, if you CHOOSE to.

If you break up with a b/f, and another guy asks you out.....are you going to look at him and say to yourself.....sure, I'll go out with you, then you'll dump me just like he did. You put things out of your mind, and you go on with your life.

As I said, it's got to be a shock to see your parents "doing it"....but it's not the end of the world....and if you think about it, and realize it's a natural normal thing.....it will go away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 08-21-2007 - 8:01am

Welcome to the board girlfriday102.

It sounds like your parents have a healthy sex life, which is a great thing. I'm not sure what you saw, but I will say that how you handle that image is up to you.

Perhaps your parents were engaged in a sex act that you feel is unnatural, or perhaps you think their too old to have sex. Most likely, in either case, you're the one who is off base. Think of a young girl, just reaching puberty, seeing a woman nursing her baby in public. It will likely embarrass the young girl -- yet it's one of the most natural things that can occur in the world. It's how many of us our raised, but when we mature enough we are able to understand what we see.

As Sakura said, you control your thoughts. The black dress and funeral example is another one. When you see the dress, you can choose to be sad because you wore the dress to a funeral, or you can choose to be happy because it reminds you of your dear (fill in the blank) who you have so many fond memories of.

You are making a bad association in your thoughts about your parents having sex. Why not be happy for them? Why not understand that they are healthy? If you think what they were doing was unnatural, then why not do some research to see how unnatural it really is? Since you are sexually active, surely you must understand that you are not the first person to be active, nor the first generation. Thankfully, sex doesn't stop when you turn some magical age.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




follow me to

my partner in the siggy exchange