Bad sex... book recommendations?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Bad sex... book recommendations?
3
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 3:55pm

There are about a trillion books out there for better sex so I was wondering if anyone here had self-help recommendations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:30am

There are all kinds of self help books....but they are general, and they are no more than common sense.

If you can't ask for what you want and need, a book can't ask for you. I don't think your issues are "usual".

If you have no desire, then it's because you're not enjoying it, and that goes back to asking for what you want, or possibly being with the wrong person. It's also possible that you have a hormone problem, but only a doctor can determine that.

If you don't have orgasms during intercourse (assuming that's what you mean by "sex") then you're like most women.....80% or more don't have orgasms from intercourse...unless they have clitoral stimulation at the same time. More women have orgasms from foreplay than from intercourse alone.

If you don't have "desire" because you don't have orgasms, then you have to rethink THAT issue. Sexual pleasure isn't dependent on orgasms, but orgasms are dependent on you learning to have pleasure in the whole act. Without actually enjoying what's going on, orgasms aren't going to happen. Learn to enjoy everything about what you're doing and take pleasure from it.

If your partner isn't doing what you need him to do, then there's no way he will ever know unless you tell him. As long as you're silent, he thinks he's doing just great.
If two people in a relationship can't talk about sex or anything else that affects the relationship, then it's not a very good relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 8:11am

I agree with Dakine.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 12:27pm

I thought I would have just gotten book recommendations so I didn't realize I should have specified my situation... I'm married (so I won't be out looking for a