Being Dumb About Sex Saved My Sex Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Being Dumb About Sex Saved My Sex Life
18
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 11:03pm

Thirty years ago I was violently raped by an SOB in a white pickup truck. To top things off, he ran over me with his truck and left me for dead. Badly injured I somehow survived. I was around thirteen at the time. Every single day since then the memory of that morning stays in my head. Like my shadow I see the white truck in my every thought. For thirty years I considered myself to be a stupid fool (foolish 1) because when the guy was raping me I didn't know what he was doing. All I know was that he was hurting me, the burning pain in my butt and he was biting me on my private parts. Luckily I fell out of his truck onto the pavement and he kissed me off with the right rear tire of his truck. I've always thought to myself, "Robbie you're a dumb ass", for not knowing what he was doing, you were thirteen for gods sakes. But I've always had a happy and healthy sex life. My spouse and I have hot sex together and in my single days I don't remember having any problems. About a month ago I had written a posting for ivillage and it got me to thinking. Why do I like sex considering I had been raped. I would have thought that my rape would have had a negative effect on my sex life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 6:12pm

Robbie, I'm a guy and have never suffered an assault as you have. So I can't speak from experience nor see things through your eyes so as to give you the support you deserve.

I can only give you my sense of disgust as to what others of my gender are capable of and I assure you it is strong.

However there are a number of ladies around these parts who have experienced sexual assaults and rape, who bravely share their stories, who today have found some measure of healing. They are here, as you are.

No one is going to think you are a sicko...we'll save that for the one who brought this pain to your life.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 7:21pm
(((((ROBBIE))))) you haven't put us through any nonsense. You did go through a big ordeal, and in many ways you have put it behind you, but in other ways, it's still affecting you. It's amazing that you were able to develop a healthy sex life without some sort of counseling!



The links that Magenta gave you are to some wonderful boards. Many people there have been through similar types of situations. If you don't want to seek counseling, perhaps joining in on one of those boards will be helpful.


As you've already seen, the members here are very supportive and helpful also, so feel free to vent here whenever you feel a need. I know when things are havy on my mind, sometimes it's helpful to just be able to talk them out.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 6:04am
Hi southerngl, I think your outlook on the situation is quite good, but I'm not sure why you posted it to me, rather than the original poster. She is the one with the horrible experience, the past history and recurring traumatic effects from the white truck, not me. I just thought I'd give you a head's up on that.

:)

Magenta-siggy

I've loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. -
Galileo Galilei

Magenta Starr – would you join me for tea?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 6:19am
Magenta - darling, it's good to see you out and about at the moment.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 6:37am
Well this is a lovely surprise, I must say, to run into you here! Yes, I have been trying to get out and about more frequently lately - not always easy with my schedule, you understand.

I hear things are really changing for the best for you, too. It's always great to get good news!

Magenta-siggy

I've loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. -
Galileo Galilei

Magenta Starr – would you join me for tea?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 7:21am

Things are indeed looking up!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 8:11am
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} You are not a weirdo. Please don't think you need to apologize. If it's on your mind, it's not nonsense. If you feel you want to vent and talk, bring it up and out. We're here to help any way we can.

angellookingdownhdlogoladyriderc-1.gif picture by nhgal2006


Biker-Lady-Diva.jpg image by nhgal2006


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28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2008
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 3:58pm
Oh, I'm sorry, I just hit reply, my post was meant for the original poster.

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