? being passive in sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
? being passive in sex
32
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 12:28pm

healthy passive in sx/IC

Women would you say for the most part you are healthy passive in sex meaning that you lay there and let him do. even though your body turns on etc. and -passive meaning that you lay there and want him to do... Let me describe what I mean..

This is what i see in my minds eye.. the scene is: she is laying on her back and he (she is kissing him) is kissing her and and he is on his side facing towards her and at one point she starts caressing his penis. He gets hard as she does it but then at a certain point he starts sticking his finger in and searching in around her vaginal entrance... He has stuck his finger in. - she is just laying there with eyes half closed and seems like she is not aware of her surroundings?. he does most of the thrusting and she still just lays there-she is not active in it or is she?). She seems to be liking him kissing her and thrusting in her and that is all she does during and after he comes.. would you say this is healthy passive?

I do see her being active when it is woman on top.. and except for doggie position I see any other position as her being passive if not show me how she isn't? I do see that the woman can and does need to stimulate herself in order to be able to have him insert himself etc. and if the need is there for her to be invovled. but it seems to me that for the most part the woman needs to be passive for orgasm to occur so that she can be relaxed in order for IC to take place even if the orgasm didn't occur at least the relax to still take place so that.. Granted she tells him what she wants but by laying there -she is "getting" what she needs to feel "good". WOuldn't the man have more strength being able to continue it and since he wants it more that he ...

women would you say for the most part 10 out of ten that you are active just in a different way by being ... even though you can be forward about sex it just happens for you in a different way... is that true for you?

It feels safe if the woman is active just as much as the man is but I see her being active like she when she is on top..

Wouldn't you say that the reason you dont actively go after it like a man does is because you are emotional and relational and you need to be turned on whereas the man can turn on more than ... Am i making sense? Do you see that as a difference and do you like that difference if you do?

Otherwise what does passive look like to you when you are doing it the healthy kind?

the orgasm helps you to relax before IC and a woman is "built" to be healthy Passive-because a woman doesn't have the strength to maintain the activeness..etc. would you say that is a difference between a man and woman and that ... in order for sex to work there has to be that passive.. granted not all the time but.. .woudl you say that it makes the man sort of want her more? It seems to me that a woman who is healthy passive a man wants her more? and usually will always seek her out more.. and most of the time she "will" give it in that vein -...

Am I making sense?

sorry it is so long.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:34am

I am 38. and it is not about curiosity and that is all i am going to say and see other emails on the forum. Talking is better than seeing a movie=the only reason I brought up that movie was to show and explain waht i was talking about.

Judith

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