Is Belly Dancing a Turn On?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Is Belly Dancing a Turn On?
5
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 9:13am
.


Edited 8/26/2008 6:14 pm ET by inacolada
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 9:39am

My DH says no, lol. Not that he doesn't like it, but belly dancing was never meant to be a turnon for men, Americans have made it that way. Don't ever compare belly dancers to strippers in the hearing of a belly dancer! That is a misconception that belly dancers have been trying for a long time to clear up.

I've been taking classes for almost 2 years and am still very much a beginner, although I'm moving up to intermediate soon (yay!). It takes about 8 years (the opinion of all the dancers I've talked to) to become really comfortable and competent in belly dance. Dh sees me practice the same moves over and over, watches me working over costumes and after 2 years, doesn't think it's 'all that'. I mean, he likes it, and he's glad I'm doing something that I enjoy so much. But being with a belly dancer is not 'sex on tap' as someone on this board once put it. It's damn hard work, and the movements, isolations and layering are not easy.

This isn't meant to discourage you, not at all. And you could costume and do some shimmies that I'm sure your man would appreciate. But if you really want to do it right, do it because you are totally engrossed in the culture, the history, the costuming, the dance. It really is a beatiful art form because it is about the female body in all shapes and sizes. And it really is a great thing for women because it doesn't discriminate - you don't have to have the 'perfect' body to do it well. My teacher is actually a fairly large woman and yet she is gorgeous when she dances (which she does professionally 4 nights a month at a local Moroccan restaurant).

If you're really interested in learning BD, find a good teacher and take classes. Videos are good for practice at home, but you need someone who will correct your movements, tell you to tuck that pelvis, move that ribcage forward, keep that knee in, close those fingers and arch that arm more. And it helps if you know how to sew, lol. You may find that you've fallen in love with it, just for it's own sake! I intend on dancing for at least the next 40 years!




Edited 12/31/2004 9:43 am ET ET by tally33
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 11:01am
.


Edited 8/26/2008 6:14 pm ET by inacolada
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 2:08pm

Oh yes, the costuming! Get a part time job just to pay for dance - you will always be wanting more fabric, more coins, more jewelry, more scarves and trim! You will find yourself haunting fabric stores, trim aisles, thrift shops and always thinking about new ways to complete a costume.

I saw a costume at a party I performed at last Dec that I fell in love with. It was peacock blues, greens and purples, with gold trim and the bedlah set resembled the bird's feathers. It cost her $3000 from a local designer -but OMG, was it gorgeous. Of course, you can costume for much less (get out the sewing machine!) but that one stands out in my mind as one of the best I've ever seen. I aspire to own something like that, some day ;)

It's a very womanly, very spiritual thing, the world of belly dance. My own DH is underwhelmed, to say the least, about having a dancing wife, lol. Aisha (from this board) also dances and she says the same thing about her DH!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 12-31-2004 - 4:35pm

Here I am! Happy New Year to you all.....I'm a bit sleepy after last night's celebrations.

Anyway, been dancing for 12 years - and I'm so with you both on the costuming.

Is Belly Dancing a turn on? I would say possibly yes, if your boyfriend is an old Arab guy. Those old Arab guys do get quite excited watching a bellydancer - esp if you've got some flesh to spare LOL. However, if he's not of Arabic origin - then he's likely to be underwhelmed.

My (anglo) DH loves that I get out and have an interest and exercise...but regarding seeing me dance? He'd rather watch soccer or spend time on his PC. Tally is also right about the time it takes to become good enough to perform.

A word on Shakira - don't try to copy her moves. Her moves are quite vulgar, especially with that butt sticking out. Heaven knows how she avoids hurting her back. Stick to traditional styles and you'll be fabulous. Remember that the dance should be sensual - not Shakira sexual.




Edited 12/31/2004 4:40 pm ET ET by iv_aisha2004
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 5:23pm

LOL! No butts sticking out - and no knees going sideways either (with an 'open leg' movement). I started to have a tendency to move my knee out when doing a hip drop - quickly learned that you don't move your knees out at all, considered way too vulgar and lewd. I had to learn to watch that. (And Tuck That Pelvis!)

Both of the teachers I've had will not do bachelor parties, just for the reason of public getting confused about sexual/sensual. They will do b'day parties *if* they know the person, but not bachelor parties or anything that smacks of sex-infused atmospheres. Mostly they try to keep their performances at family-oriented or public events (local fairs, schools, community events.) I hope to some day be competent enough to do things at that level too.

(PS- She's having a hafla this month and we've been working on a Cuban-Afro drum solo that is so very neat. We're trying to find animal print fabric for costumes and hopefully will wear half-face masks with feathers or something. It is just too cool!)