the best he's ever had....?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
the best he's ever had....?
22
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 12:11am
Ok, I'll start by giving a little background info: my bf and I are in a serious, long-term relationship and are planning to get engaged soon. We have really amazing sex. He's the best I've ever had and I just assumed I was the best he's had, too. Never really thought too much about it.so my bf and I were on the phone earlier, talking about sex and I said "yeah, i know i'm the best you ever had, hahaha" just joking around, being silly. Then, he started laughing and kind of changed the subject. I was like "hold up! Am I the best, or not. You can lie to me, I'd like to think I am at least!!" He laughed and I kept saying, "well?" and the more he laughed, the more flustered I got. He said he was trying to tell me I was the best, but why the heck did he laugh about it?! And he didn't say I was the best until after we got off the phone and I sent him a text. (Yeah, it might be ridiculous, but wouldn't it hurt your feelings if your bf/gf laughed when you asked them if you were the best and then they changed the subject?) It made me wonder if he was being honest when he finally said I was the best or if he was just trying to get me off his back. ugh. What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 1:26am

That's one of those questions you should never ask, like "does this dress make me look fat?"


No matter what he'd said, or how he'd said it, you'd then disect every nuance of his answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 1:31am

Amanda, I'm going to be blunt here, GET OVER IT!


I think you are way over thinking this. Don't make an issue of it.


The least impressive thing to any lover is an under confident sexual

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 8:19am

Welcome to the board, amanda_1016.

I think that's a question I would have never asked in the first place. As the others said, you're going to ruin a good thing if you dwell on this ... and in the future, I would avoid that particular topic.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 9:31am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 11:02am

I agree with the others.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 1:27pm
Yeah, you should just leave this issue alone. I mean, do you really want to know if you're NOT the best? No. I don't ask my husband many questions about his sexual past b/c I don't want to know. He's with me now & I know the kind of person he is now. Whatever he did & whoever he was with before isn't relevant to us now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 5:11pm

I'm probably in a minority here but my DH and I DO talk about our sexual pasts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 5:47pm
Welcome to the board, mrsparks07, and thanks for joining in.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 3:05pm
Amanda: You say he kept laughing...I would not read anything into it. My guess is that he found your statement quite funny and that it caught him off guard. If a long-term gf said that to me, in a playful tone, I'd find it kind of funny too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 4:34pm

I agree. I don't have much of a sexual past but my bf is enormously experienced. It does make me jealous, or pissy, or self-doubting sometimes to know that the rather extreme things we do together are things he has probably done with most of them.

To partially hijack the thread, knowing about others can be a *tough* thing -- we went through a rough spot in the fall, didn't really break up or not, but anyway he almost immediately he started dating a girl from his high school who I don't think he knows is a pretty good friend from a long ways back. She didn't know he was simultaneously dating me. When I caught up with her a few weeks ago, she still didn't know about us, and she was like, "he always wanted me to do these super hot things" or "he really digs heels" or "I don't see how a guy like that can be true." I just listened and winced a bit. I'm like, tell me about it.

Turns out that for sure there were several days in October/November '07 where he would have had sex with both of us, in the same bed, on the same day. Yikes! Thank god she's my friend and not some random unknown woman. I've committed myself to trying to work out our (fortunately rare) problems better in the future by making sure there's good communication. He is a great guy and it is not really is not unforgivable that he went to date another girl given my own toxicity at that point, but I don't want it to happen again, period. It is NO fun thinking about your bf's sexual exploits with other people.

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