BF has ED problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
BF has ED problems
5
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 9:27am

Hi,
My BF has had erectile problems the last 3 months. It started early March and he was prescribed Viagra and it was stress related. He moved in 6 weeks ago with me and everything was great for 4 weeks, he was managing well on his own and didn't need the tablets.
Two weeks ago it started again and he's now back on them. We had a major talk about this last night, he claims that there is nothing stressing him out at the moment, and can't understand why this is happening again.
We discussed what ways we can change about our sex life as foreplay has become a few minutes fumble because as soon as things are working he wants to get to penetrative sex. I suggested maybe a couple of nights a week where we just fool about with no pressure on either of us to have penetrative sex. He said this would be fine, just as long as I don't touch him, he said it's frustrating.
I really don't know what to do here, I want to be able to give him pleasure but it seems it's unwanted.

Any advice or tips are welcome
Bex

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 10:47am

Stress related ED.......is caused by stress!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 10:59am

Thanks for your message. I've been trawling the net the last few hours for sites on this.
I think my BF and I need another chat. You're right, Viagra isn't prescribed for stress related ED.

I really don't want to lose the intimacy we had before all this. We often used to spend our Saturdays in bed just making out, no penetrative sex and it was fun. Now it all seems to be a planned operation. I also don't want to lose a good man over this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 11:39am

Stress is a killer. It impacts on almost everything in the human body. That plus most men have the communication skills of a piece of wood. They are so closed to their emotions it is pretty sad.


A quick way to find out if he is stressing when he says he isn't is to go to Walmart and let them take his blood pressure. Make up any excuse.


Something is bothering him and he can't deal with it. Does BF have brothers, sisters that he can talk to?


When was the last time BF had a full physical?


Good Luck


Sonya

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 12:16pm
OH YES!
Stress is a killer I had a minor episode about 4 years ago. I was stressed out from a buisiness failing a daughter that was is deep trouble with the law and the onset of several stress triggered physical malidies. So I had multiple tress and the doctor determined that the onset of High Blood Pressure and Diabeties were triggered by this stress. I apparently did not think there was a problem until DW told me that I was having ED issues during that time. Now that my BP is under control and my diabeties is under control. I can physically handle the stress better. I am in a job now that has gotten very stressful, but I can still get it up and get it on! So my case was Stress begot physical ailments then had to correct the physical ailments and I am doing much better.
-Gerry-



-Gerry-






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 6:10am
Welcome to the board, Bex.


"He said this would be fine, just as long as I don't touch him, he said it's frustrating.
I really don't know what to do here, I want to be able to give him pleasure but it seems it's unwanted."

Since he's taking Viagra, he should be able to maintain an erection for a good period of time. Having a fear that he will loose his erection can explain why he's anxious to get to penetrative sex if he has an erection. Since it sounds like a confidence issue (the desire to get to it asap), perhaps he just needs to realize that his erection can last longer with the medication (probably longer than it ever did pre-medication). Instead of asking him to concentrate on foreplay from the beginning, try asking him to continue touching you after he has ejaculated, and to try and get a second erection. If he realizes that the medication works for a period of time, then he might not be so hurried to get to the main event.