bf interested in playboy magazine

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
bf interested in playboy magazine
21
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 5:31am

I and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. We have a good relation with each others but we have yet to came to the stage of having sex.

Recently my boyfriend told me that he is very much interested in looking at naked woman.First I thought he is just making fun. Later on when he show to me a few playboy magazine then I started to believe what he said. This has been happening even before he meet me.

He told me, he will masturbate whenever he look at the nude women in the magazine. Recently he started to show to me the playboy magazine and masturbate in front of me.

I understand that it is normal for a man to get aroused by looking at naked woman and masturbate. But I don't want by BF to masturbate frequently. I do not know how to stop him from looking at the playboy magazine and later on masturbate. He told me that he can't stop from looking the magazine.

What shall I tell or do to him in this matter?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 10:06pm

First of all you came asking.....<<>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 10:51pm

Just two comments on the string of posts in general:

1) Tish...Sammy didn't make the original post, someone named Sitra did...Sammy just made a response that agreed with her as far as not wanting her man to masturbate to magazines or other visuals.

2) Sammy...your point on the bible DOES NOT work...because in biblical times...men had many wives to satisfy their need for variety in women's bodies (or whatever other reason it may be that men feel the need to fantasize about other women). Nowadays, Polygamy is illegal...not an option. So whats so wrong about them fantasizing about another woman's body...they don't know that women. They don't love that woman. They love you. And a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Just because I occaisionally fantasize about a MMF threesome doesn't mean I would ever do it...or am in anyway unfaithful to my bf.

Just my two cents

Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 3:26am
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Edited 8/26/2008 6:13 pm ET by inacolada
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 11:12am

Oh Please....Any woman who doesn't want her man to masterbate needs to be prepared to drop and spread her legs 24/7/365. Humans want sex when they want it and that is just a function of hormones.

"I don't think it is mens' nature to look at (naked) chicks when they have a beautiful girlfriend/wife at home." Not all men have visually beautiful women at home. ESPECIALLY one who is willing 24/7.

Personally if my DH masterbates rather than bothering me if I am sick or unavailiable it's okay with me. Yes on ocassion I will ask him not to cause I have something special planned later, but his masterbation does not affect our active sex life. Nor does looking at porn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 1:18pm

My $.02 on this: You're seeing it from a WOMAN'S point of view. Men on the other hand, find it very easy to seperate emotion from sex. If a guy is looking at porn, i doubt very much he thinks about it much after the 'deed' is done. It's emotionless. A lot of women I know, very much equate emotion with sex and their opinions are formed from that.

Don't get me wrong, Im not saying anyone should accept something they don't jive with, just offering my POV on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 2:48pm

As a guy I find it difficult to explain why or how I can happily look at porn or internet or TV or, heck, if there's nothingelse around, I can think about the sexy next-door-neighbour while I masturbate, and still find my partner the most attractive woman I want to be with afterwards.

While masturbating many, many different things can arouse me and fuel my imagination - but that's all it is. It's imagination. Once I finish masturbating, I'm back to reality. I generally find porn to be the most stimulating, thinking about a sexy woman I saw today is more elusive but is fine to use if I'm horney and don't have porn around. Basically, if I'm horney I'll find SOMETHING to think about while I masturbate. I guess it's rarely my partner because the variety that my imagination provides is good. I can always have sex with my partner and enjoy it greatly, but I know what that is like. While masturbating I can think about something different.

I don't like the idea of a woman telling me that I can't masturbate or that I can't look at some porn if I feel like it. I wouldn't tell her what she can and can't get aroused by, so I wouldn't expect her to do that to me. "Banning' him using porn if he only uses it in private is a stupid idea. Even if he's not looking at a magazine in front of him more than likely his imagination is making up the same scenario in his head.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 3:39pm

I peruse porn regularly. Im very happily married, have sex 4-5 times a week with my DW but I will still watch porn and enjoy my private time. If I'm asked about it, I'll answer truthfully (albiet a bit embarrassed) and I don't make any attempts to hide it.

For me, it's just a buzz. It bears no reflection on my marriage or feelings about my wife.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 4:01pm
I know many people, especially on this sex talk board, wont agree with me, but I dont want them to. I know there is people that love it and find it great and acceptable and so on, and there is people like me, who dont. No worries eh, the world is only interesting because of the differences.
I think its a bad thing that on this board I am made out to be wrong,insecure,jealous or whatever just because of my opinion, norms and values (as I said before).
I really really dont care if you want to do it or not! Do what you want!
There is many many people that think like me you know, just not so many on a board like this, because...the content ...but, I am, cos I needed some advice before..
I like sex, I like faithfullness, I like to be me!
Ciao!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 4:07pm

>>As a guy I find it difficult to explain why or how I can happily look at porn or internet or TV or, heck, if there's nothingelse around, I can think about the sexy next-door-neighbour while I masturbate, <<

Here's a thought. I'd probably prefer my partner to masturbate to anonymous chick in porn than someone who he actually knows. (Then again, it's not like he'd ever tell me that he masturbated to thoughts of the next-door-neighbour LOL)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 4:57pm
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Edited 8/26/2008 6:14 pm ET by inacolada