bf pressured to have sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2005
bf pressured to have sex
3
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 11:48pm
I've been with my boyfriend in a long distance relationship for 4 months now and recently he's confessed to me that he feels pressured to have sex with me. I know that he likes me and is attracted to me but I think he might feel this way because I have a tendency to talk about wanting to have sex with him alot. Also I've had more sexual partners than him so maybe he feels intimidated? Whatever the case is, I feel awful and am at a loss as to how to take the pressure off him. What do I do?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 12:02am
Well, a good start might be by laying off the sex talk for the time being. But I think you DO have the right to know when it might happen in the future.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2005
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 12:50am
Actually, we have had sex a number of times. Apparently, he's doing it because he feels the pressure. It makes me kinda sad. But then again, as a guy, I'm sure it took a lot for him to admit that to me.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 10:20am

Yes, guys can feel pressured, too, and can have bad past sexual experiences which affect how they feel about it. Maybe he had just wanted to take things more slowly.

OR maybe talking about sex on the phone makes it more difficult for him to deal with the distance between you.

But I do think you need to have a talk with him about all this. Find out what his expectations were and are for your relationship.




Edited 4/21/2005 11:18 am ET ET by katmandoo2001