bf too big :|

Avatar for amandalynne1978
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
bf too big :|
9
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:52pm

Hey all;

I have a problem that's freaking me out. My new guy is HUGE (about 8-9" when erect and very thick, sorry to be graphic, but you can see why I'm nervous now lol). We haven't had sex yet, but we want to, just worried about me. I've been told I'm "tight" and I usually bleed a bit during sex with small to average guys (and I haven't had sex in a year and a half now). I'm a little worried, and it's kind of a joke between us which relaxes me a bit, and he's very sweet and said he knows because of his size he knows he has to be gentle, etc, but that he's had problems with girls before because of it, so I know he's self conscious already.

I'm wondering if there's any gals out there that can give me any tips about being with a much bigger guy? Some positions so he doesn't kill me LOL? Tips on oral, anything.... I'll take any suggestions...I love all sex, and I really like him, I never thought a large penis would be an issue for me, it's so comical, this whole thing cracks me up. If I didn't have a sense of humour about this, I'd probably be crying at the thought of my vagina being destoyed :))

Thanks!

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:58pm

Guess what? Your vagina won't be destroyed if you are completely aroused, relaxed and well lubricated! That means LOTS of foreplay (clitoral stimulation, either oral or manual) and since you're nervous to start with.....some added lubricant. If it hurts, then you're not aroused completely, and you go back to foreplay.

As big as he might be, he's not as big as a baby, and someday, a baby will pass thru your vagina, and it won't be destroyed. As long as you're properly aroused and lubricated, you will be able to stretch enough to accomodate him.

Avatar for amandalynne1978
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:18pm

Thanks dakine!

Well I know it won't be "destroyed" thats just kind of a joke, and I know about the lube and stuff (I usually don't need any but I think it'll make it easier, and more fun!).
I know a baby can come out of there, but that's totally different...the body goes thru a bunch of changes to expell the baby and well...this is not something my body has 9 months to physiologically prepare for :)) LMAO
I'll remember the "go back to foreplay" if it's not working...that's a good idea, rather than ending up frusterated and stuff.

Any ideas on positions?

Thanks!

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 5:07am
Oh cool. i'm glad you asked this! LOL Because i've been having the SAME issue!! :D lol Thanks! :P
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 3:02pm

I happily have the same problem that you have, but it's a nice problem to have. (Better than the opposite, where the guy is just way too small.)

First of all, get plenty of foreplay. I arouse easily, and get quite wet, which is really all that you need. Your body should be able to accommodate him, if you're wet and ready. You may want to make sure that HE is also wet, too! Why spend money on some fancy lube when you've got a mouth? :) Just before he's ready to enter, slide your mouth up and down his shaft, that should do the trick.

Then, just have him take it slow and easy until you discover exactly how deep he can go without hurting you. He's big, and he's been with other women, so he should be experienced enough to know that he can't just go "all in" with no preparation.

My guy is just over 8", and our best position is with me on top. That way, I can control how deep he goes, plus the energeticness (is that a word?) of the thrusting. Fortunately, I'm able to take his full length...he's been with women who can't. And it's possible that you may not be able to take your new guy's full length. Just let him know when he's gone too deep--he'll soon learn how to control it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 6:55am
I was in a relationship with a man with a very large penis and it was the best sex I ever experienced but I don't think it had anything to do with size. He simply knew how to make love to me and the key was for me to be very aroused before penetration. Lots of kissing and foreplay and oral before intercourse did it for me. I've also had great sex with men not so well endowed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:01am
I know that you asked for the ladies to respond but here is my two cents for what is is worth. I am fairly large, probably longer than 9" and thick (like a Red Bull can) and it has been a problem in the past with girl friends. My suggestions are (1) find positions where there is a little distance between your bodies (2) try positions where you control the depth and (3) have him cum once before intercourse, that way his second erection tends not to be as large as the first. Hope it helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 1:02pm
Agreed. I have a bf with a huge one and i am tiny, and when it's really hard it can really hurt -- it will be feeling great then owwwwww it hits just the wrong place inside me. Very hard to relax like that. He has the habit of taking extremely long strokes, pulling it all the way out to the very tip then going all the way in and sometimes I tense up. But it feels great when he's just a little less hard. Also a good way to do it is with me on top. It feels like the head of his penis is up in my rib cage sometimes, but it doesn't hurt or anything, and you can move up on his body just a bit and grind away -- clearly that's what works for me. The thrusting itself doesn't feel particularly good or bad, that's pretty much just for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 3:18pm
Well. I hope my advice helped. Reading your response has got me thinking...and excited. Nice going since I am at work...lol 0)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 4:45pm
Getting him off first will lessen the strength off his second erection, but more important, he will have more control the more excited he gets. Less likely to get out of control with his thrusting. My wife will give me a bj first if it's been awhile for me. It makes it easier to spend more time on her.