b/f is a virgin
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b/f is a virgin
| Tue, 06-14-2005 - 12:30am |
I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 25. I just found out he is a virgin (I'm not) and am shocked. I know he's dated a few women but I guess nothing serious. Now I'm really anxious about doing it when the time is right. He must have so many expectations from all these years. I need specific advise on how we should do it. Should I take the lead and go on top or let him take control? My previous boyfriends had all been more experience then me and were always the ones teaching me something, so I really don't know how do deal with the situation.
Any specific advise would be great! Thanks!

All these years???
I agree with Tish.....you are assuming a lot about this guy. Being a virgin means nothing more than he hasn't had intercourse. He might have done everything but that.
You say he's had other "relationships"....so he hasn't exactly been hiding under a rock "all these years". Maybe he's the kind of guy who doesn't want to get sexual until a good relationship has been established.
Also as Tish said, no matter what he's done in the past, you are a different woman than all the others, and you have different habits, needs, expectations, etc. Those need to be discussed "when the time comes". You have to "coach" any new partner, no matter how experienced they are. And also remember, experience doesn't always equate knowledge. He might have been with 20 other women, and still not know anything about a woman's body, and how it works, and how it's different from a man's body.
Sex, in general, comes naturally. It's the "fine tuning" that's up to each individual. If nothing else, he hasn't learned any BAD habits.....lucky you!
It's all in the communication!
This is no different than if he wasn't a virgin. You would still have to teach him how to please YOU and visa versa. We have to start over with each new partner.
And just because he's never put his penis inside a woman, doesn't mean he doesn't know his way around a female body! One can have all kinds of sexual experiences without ever penetrating a vagina.
My DH was a virgin (once again, technically) when we met and it was a wonderful experience being his first. Now, he knows how to please ME specifically, without all the preconceived ideas and experiences from past lovers.
Look at this as an opportunity to get a lover, TAILOR-MADE to you, not as some sort of obstacle. Being the teacher, for a while, can be wonderful!
Edited 6/14/2005 11:11 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
I have to agree with the others. I was just out of college my first time and it was with a girl who had LOTS of experience and suprisingly little knowledge. I had read just about everything I could get my hands on about sex, but was just really shy. Completing college was a big confidence boost for me and I began dating a lot. Just because he has not done it does not mean that he will be completely ignorant about it.
Ray