bfdoesnt make me wet... really upsetting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
bfdoesnt make me wet... really upsetting
4
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 12:35pm

Basically I've been with my borfriend for 2 years and the only time I ever got wet was when we first hade sex. I love him to bits and do find him very attractive, sometimes when we are kissing I want him so bad and yet nothing happens down there.

For us this has never really been a problem but it does upset me, because I know that I don't have a physical problem, sometimes I watch porn and that does make me work but when I watch it feel upset and sometimes disgusted with myself and never think "oh that sexy..etc".

neither of us have ever been with anyone else so I don't know if it's just him, but it worries me and makes me very nervous about ever having sex with anyone else.Does anyone have any advice? I'd really like to get over this problem because I'd like my bf to know that I do find him sexually attractive and im going to university this year and dont want this hanging over my head for any future relationships.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 12:40pm
How long are you taking with foreplay before sex? It's important to take your time EVERY TIME to ensure that your body gets a chance to rev up and feel sensations all over so you are aroused and can produce your natural lube. I was going to say you might have a medical issue but if you DO get wet while watching porn and whatnot, it sounds like you're okay... Just spend lots of time kissing and touching and teasing and ask him to go down on you before sex. Relax as much as possible too. You can always buy some lube at the store to help things along! I have some warming lube and it is a very nice addition to sex. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 2:21pm

Your b/f doesn't "make" you wet. That's up to you. Usually, foreplay, which is necessary for a woman's arousal will do it. Is he skipping foreplay! If so, don't let him. For most women, that's more important than intercourse, and more women have orgasms from clitoral stimulation than from intercourse.

If you're getting plenty of foreplay, then it's probably you worrying about it that causes it. It's called a "self fulfilling prophecy". It happened, it upset you, you worried about it the next time, and guess what? The worrying caused it to happen again.

In the meantime, that's what sexual lubricants are made for. Get some and use it, and that will probably relax you enough that you'll start lubricating on your own.

To learn more about how your body works, check out www.the-clitoris.com and it wouldn't hurt your b/f to look at it too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:09pm

Hi qwerty and welcome to the board. A lot of things can contribute to dryness. As others have mentioned, foreplay is essential. If you feel there is ample foreplay, you might be nervous and contributing to the problem. Outside things can affect your natural lubrication too. Diet -- caffeine and alcohol can both cause problems with dryness. So can smoking and some medications.

Have you tried watching porn with your BF? If so does that make a difference in your own wetness?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2007
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 2:33pm
hmm