Big problem - it won't get "big"! HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2007
Big problem - it won't get "big"! HELP!
2
Tue, 10-16-2007 - 1:53pm
I've been dating this guy for a few months and we were "together" for the first time on Friday and he could not get an erection at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006

If seeing a doctor is not an option.......then you'll have to accept that he's nervous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007

Welcome to the board niecie2k.

First off, you do have to handle this situation with kid gloves, so to speak. What he's experiencing is very personal, and for many guys, it can affect other aspects of their life too. Since you mention him being "too macho", I suspect he's taking this pretty personally.

Whether his lack of erection is because he's nervous, or if it's because he has a medical condition, there are things you can do to help put him at ease and even to sexually satisfy him. If he doesn't have a fear that you'll reject him, that's a step in the right direction. Perhaps if you step back a little and see what nature provides, things will work themselves out. If not, then he may become more comfortable and realize it's not his nerves, but a possible medical problem.

In the meantime, you can still both enjoy sexual activity. He should still be able to ejaculate with manual or oral stimulation. An erection is not necessary for a guy to ejaculate. Of course, he can satisfy you manually or orally too. I think you stand a better chance of getting through this with compassion than you will with frustration. Even though you might get frustrated, you can't let that show, or it will be counterproductive.

Here are some articles that you might also find helpful:

iVillage Total Health: Erectile Dysfunction Affects 18 Million US Men
http://health.ivillage.com/di/dinews/0,,wbnews_b6skrsst,00.html

Medicine Net: Causes of Impotence
http://www.medicinenet.com/impotence_ed/page2.htm#cause

How Stuff Works: Erectile Dysfunction
http://health.howstuffworks.com/how-erectile-dysfunction-works2.htm













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