Big question how can I help him ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Big question how can I help him ??
5
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 5:30pm

This is my question, me and my husband had sex it was great, but then I asked him to have sex a second time that night and he agreed. So we rested and rested and then started up again he was hard, this is a little to much info, but when he put it in he stayed hard for about 1 minute and when down and that was it. How can I help him get aroused so we can go at it a second round? I mean the first round he was going and going. but the second round he can't hold his hard that long, how can I help him stay or get a good arousal the second time????

Thanks
jbaby

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 5:39pm

The simple answer is that he may not be able to have two rounds in a short period of time. Many men can't. But it could be that he just wasn't able to rest long enough.

For some men, the refractory or resting period is as short as 0 minutes to as long as 24 or more hours.

You might consider engaging in a different act the 2nd time. Such as sharing oral or manual stimulation only after intercourse. That may help him stay aroused. But men have an intense desire to sleep immediately after orgasm, so he may want to sleep for a good while before he's interested again.

If you're hoping for a 2nd round because you aren't being satisfied properly the 1st time, ask him to manually stimulate you to orgasm before, during or after intercourse so that a 2nd round won't be necessary. Sometimes though, it's just not possible for a man to get and keep a 2nd erection in a short period of time after orgasm.




Edited 1/17/2006 5:42 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 10:36am

Big question, and small answer. You can't! If a man isn't going to get an erection, there's nothing you can to do make him get one. Most men aren't that great the second time around. Some men can do it, but not many. Most take at least a few hours to recouperate.

I agree with Katmandoo.....if you're looking for seconds because you weren't satisfied the first time around, then you both need to work on whatever it is that's lacking the first time. Foreplay, or the lack of it might be the culprit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 12:49pm

I was satisfied the first round, it was just that I hadn't seen him in a long time and I missed him alot so it was like I just got excited and can't get enough

jbaby

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 3:54pm
That's understandable. But he CAN provide YOU with more sex of a different sort though, the kind that doesn't require an erect penis.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 4:36pm

That happens. I can usually rally for round 2, but not always. What helps me if I'm having problems is to spend several minutes giving her oral. This has one of two effects: It either turns me on so much that I'm hard again and ready to go, or it satisfies her so much that it doesn't matter.


Occasionally, she'll get on top when I'm semi-hard, too. As long as I'm not completely soft, this seems to satisfy her pretty well, and unless I am completely beat (i.e. stone dead drunk after working a 100 hour week and having a big fight), it gets me hard pretty soon, too.

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