A bit of advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2007
A bit of advice
2
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 1:53pm

I am wanting to get advice about sex,

I just want to know how you know as a woman if you have experienced the full explosiveness of sex. As to me it feels like there is more to experience, and I don’t know if that is how everyone feels, or is it just that I am still on the cusp of the really good stuff?

I know I have orgasmed, but if seems like there are different levels.

I am 31, and I have only been having sex for 6 + years. I am married, and my husband is my only, he was my first boyfriend. He also was inexperienced.

We have put a lot of effort into our sex life, as both starting from scratch there was a lot to work out, however having 3 children and my husband starting his own business during our 6 ¾ years of marriage have meant that having good sex isn’t all ways top on the list.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 2:50pm

It could be that you're expecting more than there really is. Sometimes movies, and romance novels and even porn make it look like so much more than it really is. You hear things like "the earth moved", or hear about screaming.....that's not how it usually is.

"Explosive"? Sometimes an orgasm can be intense, but certainly not EVERY time.

There's more to sex than "explosive". Sometimes it's just soft and loving and intimate. How to find out if you're getting the full effect of it? I'm not sure. If you're "enjoying" it......that's good. If you weren't enjoying it.....then there would be something wrong or something missing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 6:44am

Welcome to the board daisy.dots.

I think a healthy person continues to develop sexually. As you learn new and/or different things, become more and more comfortable with your partner, and go through different stages in your life, I think your sexual enjoyment changes as well.

When my children were younger, my sex life was not as satisfying as I would have liked it to be. Pressures in life often make us 'go through the motions' instead of fully enjoying the event in many areas -- not just sex. Now that my children are both in their teens, we have more time to enjoy each other and concentrate on our sex life.

I agree that orgasms vary in intensity. Some of that you can control in how you think about sex and the amount of time you put into sex. Some of that is controlled by your hormones, your stress level and your partner.

It sounds like having young children and your husband starting his business has zapped some of the energy from your sex life. I think that's fairly common and 'normal', but it won't necessarily stay that way forever.



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