Blushing here

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Blushing here
20
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 6:59pm

Having not been in a sexual relationship for some time I'm a bit flustered. I've been seeing someone now for about a year. Recently he stated our sex life could be more exciting. He did have some suggestions to go with this IE: golden showers, using my tongue in his anal area and anal sex.
My question is this, Are those things considered in the "normal" realm of sexual behaviors these days?
Have to admit it would be new to me. I also consider them slightly degrading to women. Why I think that I'm clueless.
Would like to know what others think.

Joy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Sat, 01-29-2005 - 3:52am

Yup, I was about to post the same thing....sounds like Female Ejaculation to me. And a mighty fine orgasm too.

To the O/P - DH and I sometimes do anal play and once or twice the anal/oral thing....but not often for the latter. Golden showers? I occaisionally get that idea when I'm drunk but have never done it. I've skirted round the subject with my DH but have not had a positive reaction, so have never openly suggested it. I suppose that it all comes down to being tactful: I can openly ask for a "normal" sexual thing, but am more discreet about wanting more kinky things. And with that discretion, comes an acceptance for others who don't share the desire.

To any other posters: please don't ask me why I think about golden showers when I'm drunk - I've got no idea why.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Sat, 01-29-2005 - 7:04am

Hi Joy!


Ya know, an interesting post I read on another message board just last week went something like this:


"If I won't do it, THEN its degradation."


Now I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with that statement, but it does raise an interesting thought of whether or not your new gent would be willing to do whatever he wanted to do.


Regardless of that, it doesn't sound like practices that you are eager for, so that right there nullifies any other discussion and simply suggests in itself that you obviously not do them.

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Sat, 01-29-2005 - 10:12pm

Hi Sammykisses:

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Sun, 01-30-2005 - 10:30am

Mac, I'm curious...

When you felt that domination at the time, was that something that you on?, or did that feeling just develop during the act? I kinda see a difference between the two myself.

For instance, cunnilingus or fellatio could very easily be considered dominating acts as well...but that doesn't mean it was planned and that THAT was the reason why it was wanted. Note that I'm admitting the stark difference from something such as a golden shower of course...that is a mind thing totally IMHO.

Anybody else have any thoughts on that?

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Sun, 01-30-2005 - 10:32am
I'd think so...I guess "normal" would be up to you. My husband and I don't engage in the whole golden shower thing..That's a little too much for me...But, we do enjoy anal sex from time to time and that carries a whole range of activities from stimulating each other's anal region to full-blown anal sex. It depends on you and your tastes. I always say "don't knock it till you've tried it." And believe me, I knocked anal sex w/o trying it. Again, "normal" is up to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 10:38am

I have to say that an act of domination COULD be anything, and I don't think anal sex is domination, per se. I LOVE anal sex with my DW, and I in no way feel like I am dominating her. It's all about how you feel, and I don't think a certain sex act is domination. Even golden showers. Don't forget that on the end of every act of domination is an act of submission. And in each relationship, one person might lean more one way or the other.

I just think it has more to do with the people involved and how THEY feel versus what the actual act is. Like Mr. Para said, fellatio could be considered domination just as easily.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 1:01pm
In other words, the eye of the beholder. Am I reading you right?

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 1:16pm

Actually, any act or even word, sexual or not could be construed as dominant. Take the simiple kiss. It can take on a myriad of connotations. Take any word, and change the tone, it changes the connotation of the word. It really depends on the presentation.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
In reply to: joy_2_day
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 6:04pm

First off. I've never had anal sex or golden showers, but I wouldn't be averse to trying either of them.

Joy, your partner has given you a tremendous opportunity to discuss your sex life. If you can sit down (outside of the bedroom) and discuss what you both want (and don't want), it can really enrich your relationship.

You certainly shouldn't try anything that you aren't comfortable with. But compromises are available that you may feel comfortable trying. For example, I find that a lubed finger playing with my backdoor is a LOT more stimulating and erotic than a tongue. Maybe you can pretend to golden shower, but spray warm water from a squeeze bottle instead. Who knows? Of course you may start to laugh hysterically and then slip and fall from the water you're squirting and end up in the hospital trying to explain it all to your mother!

Be sure to tell him what you would like to try.

Good Luck!

John




Edited 2/2/2005 6:19 pm ET ET by mejohnz
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
In reply to: joy_2_day
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 9:42pm

> cunnilingus or fellatio could very easily be considered dominating acts as well...

I'm not sure which one would be dominant? The giver or receiver? It could go either way.

Of course men usually feel they are in control and experience the rush that comes from domination. Or, it could be said, women are in control as they determine when and who can penetrate them. If that didn't happen, none of us would be here.

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