boyf doesnt want it

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
boyf doesnt want it
7
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 4:54am

my boyfriend and me have been going out for a while now (three months of seeing each other every day) and i really adore him but sexually im getting quite frustrated.
i dont know whether he is a virgin or what but we havent made love yet and all my hints like 'i have a free house tongiht wanna sleep over' and stuff dont work.
other than that we have done everything but (oral and manual) but only once. we kiss alot but that is it.
is he just not into me sexually and how can i bring this up and seduce him without coming across as superly more experienced than him or suffer the embarasment of talking with him

x x emmalina x x

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 5:48am

>>is he just not into me sexually and how can i bring this up and seduce him without coming across as superly more experienced than him or suffer the embarasment of talking with him<,

You can't. Honestly though, if you can't talk to him about this stuff, I seriously don't think your relationship is ready for sex anyway. If it doesn't happen naturally and easily, perhaps it's not meant to be.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 9:37am
If you can have oral and manual sex with him, you should be able to talk to him about sex without being embarrassed.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 9:46am

How old is he, how old are you?

"Suffering the embarassment of talking to him"???? Hon, if you can't talk to him, then you have no business being sexual with him. Talking about things is what mature adults do. You don't even have a clue if he's had any previous experience? You don't even know him then....and until you learn how to communicate with him, you never will.

Maybe he's just not that into you....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 12-29-2004 - 12:34am
Trust me, if you can't talk about this stuff with this guy then you can't have sex with him and don't really have a great relationship. It's just going to be a disaster if you try to do it without talking about it. He may have all sorts of reasons for not wanting intercourse. He may feel self-concious, he may be a virgin and be nervous, he may have performance anxiety, he may fear pregnancy, he may be a bit slow and not have picked up the hints you were giving him, he may intend to save himself for marriage, he may simply not be ready yet. Dozens of reasons and to find out which one it is for sure, you are going to have to talk to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 12-30-2004 - 7:09pm

Just wanted to add an extra thought to the great replies so far.

YES, talk with him. If you are truly THAT intimate with him to the point that you'd let him enter you and be sexual with you, then you're able to "open up" to him in communication as well.

REMEMBER: Make certain that your words are words of inquiry and understanding, and NOT words of pressure pressure pressure. If he doesn't want to do something, then respect his wishes; ask for understanding making him feel guilty about it. Soooo many times, that is the very key that ends up missing or even forgotten from such meaningful discussions like these.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 4:55am

thanks everyone for your help :-)

i talked to him about everything new years eve (before we got smashed!) and evyerthing is cleared up.

basically he thought that he was pressurising me into having sex and that he wanted to take it at my pace etc.

we also said i love you for the first time :)
thanks again

xxx emmalina xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 01-02-2005 - 10:47am
Well at least you talked BEFORE you got smashed! LOL!!! Oh boy the stories I've read on these boards sometimes. :D

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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