Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex
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| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 9:27am |
I've been dating a guy for almost three months...right after getting a divorce from my controlling husband. He's great, very nice, gives me my space, and I enjoy being with him. The problem is that he DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX! How weird is this? We had sex two or three times and I had an allergic reaction to the condoms we used (they had spermicidal lubricant on them) and had to be on meds for a week. After that happened, he stopped initiating sexual activity. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he didn't want to complicate my life further. (Okay, little background info would be good here. I have a controlling ex-husband who calls me every few weeks, I'm moving 3000 miles next month, and I'm a full-time student. I guess he thinks I'm a little stressed out!)
Anyway, what to do? I try to initiate sex, but we haven't had sex in over a month! He still wants to be with me, do stuff with me, which is great, but I'm only human. My roommate (a guy) told me just to "rape him." My girlfriends are telling me to dump him. I think there's a deeper issue, but he won't talk about it. Meanwhile, I'm dying for some sex and my eye is starting to wander. I really like this guy, but I want to have a normal, adult relationship with him. It's not like we're kids (I'm 23, he's 28), we've both been married, we're responsible. I just don't know what I can do; I've already tried to talk to him on several occasions. I feel like if I bring it up one more time, he's going to be sick of talking about it. Please help!
PS: He still gets an erection sometimes when we're laying in bed, so it's not like he can't get it up. Just a bit more info.
Edited 5/11/2004 9:34 am ET ET by brillig25

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He has told me that it's not for lack of wanting sex that he's not tried. But as far as the real reason...that's what I'm trying to figure out. Thanks for your response.
Thanks.
I don't think it's that weird.
Anyway, my roommate was joking, of course. He just doesn't understand either and couldn't think of any advice to give. Sorry if that offended anyone.
Thanks for your response.
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