Boyfriend suddenly not interested in sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2014
Boyfriend suddenly not interested in sex
2
Wed, 07-02-2014 - 9:04pm

I'm new to this so not entirely sure how it works... My boyfriend and I have great sex but...big but... It's just not frequent enough! I've tried talking to him but now he says he feels pressured. We had a really good discussion earlier about how we needed to make more of an effort (I was careful to say WE) nice romantic meal and STILL just a kiss goodnight leaving me fuming and frustrated! I've actually got dressed this time and come home because I will be so grumpy tomorrow. We spend 4-5 nights a week together but at the moment I'm lucky if it happens once. He has issues about doing it if our children are there, despite the fact they sleep like logs. He is the love of my life in every other way but I have a high sex drive and this is a deal-breaker for me.  I trust him and know he's not having an affair. What I struggle to understand is that he had no intimacy in his marriage from his wife and now he has it on tap, he can't be bothered! what am I doing wrong here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 07-03-2014 - 11:34pm

Who said YOU are doing anything wrong?  If a man's not interested......it's one of a couple things......maybe he's just not a very sexual person.......it could be due to low testosterone levels, it could be other hormonal or physical issues.  You mentioned "our" children.......do you have children together?  How long have you been together?  How old is he?  How long since he's had a good physical?   Is he depressed?  Is he under a lot of stress?  All sorts of problems can put  a strain on a relationship.  Is it possible that he's just lost interest in the relationship?  Sometimes guys want out, but don't know how to get out......and they just do everything they can to drive you away.  You need to sit him down OUTSIDE the bedroom and discuss how YOU feel, and ask him if he wants things to get better, then work on the problem(s).  Sometimes it's just time to admit it's over, and move on. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2014
Fri, 07-04-2014 - 11:39am

Ask him if he would like to go to an adult novelty store and look around to see if anything interest him in maybe buying a sex toy, I know this might sound a like off, however, some times things spark interest, it might be worth a try?