boyfriend wants to do it BAD

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
boyfriend wants to do it BAD
5
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 1:58pm

my boyfriend and i have been dating one month now.. and every time we cuddle or get close to having sex.. the first thing he always try to do is go down on me. ive never experienced it or the feelings so i know nothing about it..lol besides what ive heard. not that i dont want him to do it or anything..but its never really the right time, hes just really into it and im like . .. "wow!?" lol. my last boyfriend thought it was the devil to do it or sumthing and maybe im just. i dont kno.... lol

why am i feeling this way...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 3:02pm

Why do you feel this way? Lots of reasons. You barely know him. You don't have the right feelings for him. You don't trust him. You're not ready for sex (and don't kid yourself, oral sex is SEX, probably more intimate than intercourse). You don't want to have to reciprocate because you think that's gross. You haven't had the "exclusive" talk.

These are just some of the reasons you probably don't want to do it. And, no matter how BAD he wants to do it, it's your body, and you're the one who will decide when you're ready for that, and all that goes along with it. If you don't want to do it, then don't do it. If he pushes it, then that might tell you he's in it more for the sex than his feelings for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 3:26pm
yeh... i dont really know him. but i do LIKE him alot.
and its not like he wants me to perform oral sex on him.. its that he wants to do it to ME. lol. thas why i said its weird....
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 8:36pm

Sounds like a keeper to me!

It shows that he knows what women like, isn't just thinking about himself and his own needs.

Many men enjoy knowing that they can turn their partner on this way and become very aroused by the sights, tastes, sounds and feel of their aroused partner during cunnlingus. So, not all men are like your EX.

With a little more time, you should feel more comfortable with the idea and you will likely enjoy it VERY much. The majority of women do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 1:14am
Yeah, we know that you meant that he wants to go down on you, not vice versa. I don't think that it's weird. There are plenty of guys that absolutely love giving a woman oral sex. It's just that you don't hear them talk about it much amongst themselves because of the macho thing. But believe me, there are plenty that think about it alot even if they don't admit it in public. It's all part of being close to the woman, to give her pleasure, to be the person giving her that pleasure, to touch her, be intimate and be close to her most sexy and intimate parts. From another different point of view, he probably knows that he can't just ask you to have intercourse, so he knows that oral sex will probably be the closest to that he will get for a while yet. So he's pushing to get your pants off one way or another. And of course, you may feel obliged or happy enough to return the favour.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 10:07am

I'm not clear....have you never had it done on you before? Your last boyfriend was opposed to it? Do you mean you've never experienced oral sex, or that you never experienced a man who desires it?

In any event, you may be apprehensive because of some sub-conscious baggage you have from your last boyfriend's actions. Let it go. The worst thing you can do is paint all men with the same brush. You have to view each man you meet as an individual.

Your current boyfriend obviously is different. By you denying him, you are denying yourself and him of pleasure. A great lover is one who receives pleasure at the sme time they are giving it. Hopefully, you will return the favor, and learn from him what sex is all about.

Let it go....remove all inhibitions and residual bad thoughts from your last relationship...and embrace the gifts that this man is dying to bestow upon you.




Edited 4/26/2006 10:12 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )