bringing boyfriend to orgasm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
bringing boyfriend to orgasm
4
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 7:43pm
Hi. I'm now seeing a guy, who because of late stage diabetes, cannot penetrate me, but, he is able to become erect, and to have an orgasm through self stimulation. He's very exciting to me, and always makes me come many times, when we're together. Although he enjoys being in my mouth, I can't bring him off that way. The problem is, I've never given a decent hand job in my life, and don't have a clue. I feel like an
idiot even bringing it up. Should I ask him to instruct me? He says h he doesn't care, as long as he gives me pleasure, but, I would really like to return the favor. I love him so much, and just want to show my appreciation for the most intense, exciting sex I've ever had. Please advise. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 08-20-2006 - 9:15pm

Yes, ask him what he likes and have him


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:08am

You don't "bring him off" vaginally, orally, or manually. He does that. You provide the stimulus, but he's the one responsible for his climax and ejaculation, not you. If it doesn't work orally, it might not work manually, either....but he'd probably enjoy it if you tried, just as he enjoys the oral.

If you want to try helping him manually, then ask him how he likes it. All men are different, and all men like it their own way. Aside from his medical problems, he likes what he likes. Every man is different, and no matter what you do/have done with other men, he'll be different. Ask HIM what he likes. I'm sure he'll be happy to show you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:39am
That's true. Of course, I was surprised he had any sensation at all, when we first got together, but, he says he enjoys sex as much as I do. I don't really understand, but, he takes pain meds, so there's feeling but not enough blood flow. I've seen him masturbate in front of me, and have an orgasm that way, I've just not been able to duplicate that, but, it should be fun to try, and, you're right, I don't think he'd mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 1:48am

A large part of "sex" is mental, for both men and women. Men who are good lovers also derive a LOT of pleasure just from seeing their partner have pleasure.

He may have physical problems, but he's enjoying it mentally, and you're both very lucky.