A bunch of questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2013
A bunch of questions
3
Fri, 11-08-2013 - 6:05pm

Hi, I'm new to this place and I was wondering if I could get some advice?  I'm 24 and I just started being sexually active last month (My girlfriend calls me a "late bloomer" Haha).  Anyways, I've been having two distinct problems and instead of making seperate topics I figured I'd just put them in all in one.  Here goes...

The first and biggest problem is that I have cerebral palsy.  It's mild so I am able to walk, stand, and awkwardly run.  I do, however, have problems standing for long periods of time and balancing myself.  This more or less limits my girlfriend and I to two positions: She's on top or I'm standing and she's on the bed (since I have trouble bending the height difference lines up perfectly ^_^;).  ANYWAY, this leads to a problem since a) this will become boring for one of us eventually and b) I can't stand for long I tire out and she ends up doing all the work (just doesn't seem fair).  So has anyone been in a similar situation or just knows of some easy to do positions that I can add to the repitoire to keep her happy?  I'd appreciate the help. :P

On to the second question, during the act I've found I have a lot of trouble actually finishing.  Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but it's so different from the decade and a half of self-love that I'm used to I can't get to that point during sex.  Is this a common problem?  If so are there any steps I could take to fix it?

Thanks for my rambling, just finished a huge assignment so I'm a little flustered. Haha.  I hope everyone has a fantastic day. :)

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 4:17pm

  Positions are so varied that exploring several Books would be best choice.  As far as "finishing" which I take it as ejaculation is not unknown.    Google delayed ejaculation or combination of words that mean the same.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Mon, 11-11-2013 - 2:02pm
The positions issue... Since you don't say anything about the popular missionary position, can we assume that you do not have sufficient arm and leg strength for this? You left out the positions where you are on your side. Spooning with you entering from the rear is easy. By making various changes to the body angles you can add more positions. There are many many others. Google. As far as finishing is concerned, you don't say if you are wearing a condom. They do decrease feeling and can make it more difficult to achieve orgasm. Have your girlfriend get you closer to orgasm before you enter her. Use your head. The guys who come too fast try to think our non-arousing things. You need to do the opposite. What thoughts arouse you? For example, if the thought of an_l sex sends you higher, think about that during your vaginal sex. Dirty talk. Toys. Are you aroused by butt play? One of you could touch you there to get you off. Or use a butt plug. And don't forget that intercourse is just one part of sex. Touching. Kissing. Oral sex, both giving and receiving is wonderful. Earlier, I mentioned toys. Don't be afraid to introduce toys into a relationship. Toys are your friend. They can make it so much easier for her to have an orgasm. Use a vibrator on her as you are eating her out. Believe me, it's a wonderful thing being between her legs with your mouth on her as her thighs squeeze your head as she shudders in orgasm and makes primal sounds. Hope this helps. Keep us updated. Took longer to edit to get through the profanity filter than to write it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 11-19-2013 - 11:28am

The above suggestions of various toys are a good suggestion, for both of you to try. I would think that as you are "learning" new sexual activity there will be some concern, worry, and self judgement that can all interfere with your actual enjoyment that leads to "completion." Although many will recommend that masterbation will teach you about what to feel and the build up process, it is often not the same when someone else is involved. It will take some time to learn. Enjoy the experience and sometimes being able to laugh about the situation can help to relieve the frustration. As long as they are patient with your efforts things should get better.

As for physical impairments I would think that various pillows or other angled padding might be significant to help reduce physical strain or discomfort during postioning. There are wonderful speciality designed pillows that are sold at better adult websites, but it probably would be better to try a few things with pillow cases, pillows, rolled or folded blankets, etc. to figure out what would be good to spend money on if you were to puchase one of those special pillows. Do a search for sexual positioning pillows or wedges to get a better idea of what I'm talking about.

Good luck, have fun, and don't be your worst enemy.

B.