can anyone help?
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can anyone help?
| Sun, 09-10-2006 - 8:33pm |
Me and my boyfriend have been together for only 8 months, but we have a very different idea of what sex is he likes to have meaningless quickies that only satisfy himself in the end and as you know leave me hanging, where as i like to take things slowly and work up an appetite before i get what i want. I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to sex and he doesn't seem to want to do things my way for once, so now i just don't want to have sex with him anymore and we've given up completely and the last time we had sex was 2 weeks ago!!! can anyone help because this is really getting us both down. I'm getting really sexually frustrated and not only that its affecting our relationship too.

Tell him that although quickies are good some of the time, theyre just not doing it for you all of the time. Make him slow down and spend 10 minutes(atleast) warming you up. And make if fun for both of you. Show him that taking your time has benifits for him as well as for you. And make it a point not to let him leave him you hanging. Tell him if he cant take the time to please you, then you dont want to take the time to please him. Well something along those lines anyways.
Im sure you can work something out where some nights he takes his time and other nights you can have a quickie, and make it so everybody is satisfied everytime.
Hope you guys can work something out and he doesnt continue to leave you hanging. Because maybe now he will see if he doesnt take the time to pleasure you, he doesnt get sex for weeks! Then nobody wins.
Good luck.
Have you told him your feelings about it?
There is probably room to compromise. Quickies are nice but they are no replacement for really good intense and drawn out sex. I'd say that your guy needs to discover why drawn-out sex is so good and I think that it's your job to change his mind about it :-)
He can't have quick sex if you don't want it. After-all, he can't put his penis in you if you move out of the way. That's probably the easiest way to draw the sex out. Don't help him cum and don't let him enter you until you are ready. Yes, the poor baby might get a bit frustrated but that's not the end of the world and you DO fully intend to have intercourse with him at the end of the session. If he's going to get angry or mad about taking some extra time then I would really reconsider what sort of guy you want to be dating. Most people don't live their whole lives having quickies, so he's being unreasonable to expect you to live that way all the time. He's the odd one out, not you.
As Westridge said, he can't make it a quickie if you just don't LET him......but as the others said, have you sat him down outside the bedroom and told him that it's just not working for you? If he cares about you, he'll try to change his ways. If he doesn't, he either has NO idea of what it takes to please a woman, or he's just lazy and selfish. There are a lot of guys out there that don't have a clue, and need to be TAUGHT!
Talk to him, and tell him it's not working anymore, and if you're not happy in the bedroom, then you're not happy out of it. Chances are, he's selfish, or self centered in other areas of your relationship.
If you can't find a compromise where you're both happy...then there's not much hope for the relationship going on much longer.
Hello Sweetcuriosity,
All sweet couples need to enjoy milk and cookies.
Everyone deserves a "sweet cookie" every once in a while.
Tell him your not going to "milk" him if you don't get a "cookie" too!!! LOL
His brains may not be quite right. He may be clueless about your needs you may have to educate him. You may have to reassure him that he will get a cookie just take a little more time to savor it. Don't inhale it in one big bite. Nibble at it slooowly. Take a little more time. If he is young and loaded to the gills when you start off and his "brains" are tighter than a drum you may have to clear them out once so he can think a little more and take care of you properly the second or third time.
Ask him or tell him what you need. You may have to do some show and tell with him to educate him.
If you can't talk to him about it. Refer him to some sites on the web so he can find out what he needs to know to please you.
If you don't see progress you may have to find your cookie with someone else.
I hope you two can enjoy your milk and cookies. LOL
Good Luck