Can I ask about BDSM here..?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
Can I ask about BDSM here..?
3
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 9:22am

I posted elsewhere, but maybe better suited here.. My partner has been talking a lot lately about wanting me submissive.. and that sort of thing.. saying he doesn't know what my boundaries are yet, etc. What is this all about? I am ALL for it that is for sure, he is turning me on in ways I have always dreamed of (just thinking of him in control over me).. but I read some things on it (BDSM) and still am not sure what it entails. I am probably talking in circles, but maybe someone can direct me to a site that can help, if no one here can?

Anyone have any newbie advice?

Thanks,
S

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 9:39am
Depends on how far you guys want to go into this but for starters it usually involves him being a little rough, possibly light bondage, maybe talking "down" to you a bit, and you responding in demure tones. It all depends on your comfort level but you should definitely talk about it first and and set clear guidelines. It's a good idea to have a code word that you wouldn't normally use during sex. If you aren't cool with something you say the choosen word and he MUST stop. If you choose "stop" or "no" he may get so into it he thinks this is part of the act. It's important that this is enjoyable for you, some women feel degraded during this type of stuff and then anger creeps in. Some women realy get off on it and know it isn't about the relationship, it's just sex. Also, the TABOOS board would be perfect for you on this. They are a great group of people, some are into more than others, but I have never felt judged on this board. They have lots of ideas and are very open. Hope it helps.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 10:12am

Thanks tr --

Yup, I know about the safeword... I will head over to the other board as I have many questions :)

Thanks,
S

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 12:22pm

SnS--

Here are a couple of links that might be of assistance to you:

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

The second one in particular, has a good list of further related links at the bottom of the page.

Good luck

E :)