Can Men Tell When You're...FAKING?
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| Sat, 08-28-2004 - 10:41pm |
My DH and I made a promise a long time ago to NEVER deny each other sex. (Unless, ofcourse, one of us has a health issue.) So no matter what, day or night, awake or sleep, if he wants sex....he gets sex.
But my sweetie has this ego trip. He WILL NOT stop unless I reach a climax. I mean...the man will fight against ALL odds...bite the bullet...and repress his BIG O just to make me come.
So what's the problem you ask? Well....sometimes I just don't feel like having sex. And on those occasions, I want him to do his THING and be done. As quick as possible. But If I don't climax, he keeps going. He's like the friggin' energizer bunny. He'll keep going and going and going. So.....well....you see....I ummmmm...OKAY DAMNIT..I FAKE IT!!!
I already don't want to do it....why would I give him a reason to keep going?
So back to my question. Can men FEEL when a woman reaches a climax? Cause if they can...boy...my husband would be pretty pissed about the last few weeks.

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I would be interested in you confirming this. I am not religious, but have many friends and family who are(Christians) and have NOT ONCE heard this. Are you sure you are not confusing someone's personal philosophy with actual religious teachings?
Leticia
<.>>
~~~I haven't really talked to him about it yet because this only recently starten happening. We've been together for 4 years and sex has always been HOTT. But I've cooled off a little and he's still a roaring inferno. He's always made me climax, and he knows it. I'm nervous about what his reaction would be if I told him, "Look, no matter how hard you try, I'm not going to come.
So do your thing and let me get back to my soap operas." ~~~
I'm new here.. but have been lurking for a while..
And I just want to remind you that it's all not about
him.
You have a part in this also.
You have a right to say what you need to say..
You have a right to do what you want.
You have a right not always having to do what he wants.
You have a right to be happy.
You also have a right not always having to make him happy.
It's all not about him.
Communication is key.
I'm not suggesting that you wait until you're both in bed to start talking
about this.
How would he feel if he found out you've been lying to him?
I know how I would feel..and I would want to know what else you've been lying about.
You think his ego will be bruised if you tell him "Not tonight"... Just think how
bruised his ego will be if he found out you've been lying.
~~I don't know what religion you are, but in MY Bible....my Christian Bible...it says VERY CLEARLY that a wife should not deny her husband, and vice versa.~~
Okay.. Where in the Bible does it say you should lie?
Denying and Lying and telling the truth are three different things.
I don't think anyone here is suggesting that you "hold out" or "deny" him.
I think what we're trying to say is that you should stop lying.
Faking an orgasm is lying.
Start talking. BEFORE you hit the bedroom.
Just my opinion.
Just some comments on a few of your statements.
What you all don't seem to understand is I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM WANTING TO HAVE SEX!!!! WhenEVER he wants. The problem is he doesn't understand that I just CAN'T come every single time we have sex. I have hinted to him while we're having sex that it's not going to happen...he receives it as a challenge. Yes, we have a wonderful relationship, and that's partly because we take each other's feeling into consideration. Whoever said you should be completly and brutally honest with your partner is a liar. Some things like the all popular question, "Honey do you think I'm fat?" don't deserve a completly honest answer. How would you feel if he said, "YES!!! I think you're a big fat tub of BLUBBER!!!" Sometimes you have to take your partner's feelings into consideration.
I don't know exactly how it would make him feel to let him know that he can't MAKE me come when I don't want to. But it wouldn't get a good reaction. He tries so hard to please me, and I don't know how to get him to understand that sometimes I just can't be pleased.
And to all you people who aren't Christians....or CLAIM to be Christians and don't understand our "Promise" to each other...open up your Bible (the new international version is the one I've got.)
1 CORINTHIANS 7:2-5
For those of you who don't own a Bible, it says....
"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fullfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. THE WIFE'S BODY DOES NOT BELONG TO HER ALONE, BUT ALSO TO HER HUSBAND. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. DO NOT DEPRIVE EACH OTHER EXCEPT BY MUTUAL CONSENT AND FOR A TIME, SO THAT YOU MAY DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO PRAYER. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control."
If you don't have a problem having sex everytime, then that is fine.
I would be very careful here, and not attack people who are trying to help you. I think you are misunderstanding the passage, because it clearly says to ME that IF you BOTH agree to certain terms, then abide by them and don't go back on your agreement. I'd like to know how you jumped to such a conclusion from that passage.
As for your question about your husband, next time don't fake an orgasm. Even if he goes all night, don't fake it. You can do things to make it enjoyable for him, but don't fake it. He will eventually accept that you won't come every time, but that you do still enjoy that he is enjoying himself.
Leticia
>>When he starts I should say, "Oh honey, you go ahead and come...I'm not into it tonight." That's a mood killer. I mean, just because I'm not in the mood doesn't mean I should ruin it for him.<<
to be honest, that is exactly what I would say.
Blah. Stupid boards lost it all in the edit. Can't be bothered re-typing it all.
Basically, tell him that sometimes it just doesnt work. Better the truth than a life-time of pretending, lying and pandering to his ego.
Edited 8/29/2004 11:27 pm ET ET by westridge2001
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